SNAP, crackle, POP

Here we go again. I have to climb in the attic and dust off my "Support Bishop Finn" signs! I was SO hoping they would just disintegrate to next to nothing up there. That's what is happening to my "Its a Girl" and "Its a boy" yard signs so I know it can happen.

Our Catholic (which means universal, so it really belongs to everyone) Church is being attacked again. There is no real surprise there. The attacks only make it more evident that I am right where I belong. The attacks are expected even though they are frequently unjustified. As I scroll around the Bishop Finn Facebook pages, the hateful comments come from a vast majority of fallen away Catholics that desperately need to come home. Rome sweet Rome. They try to make us believe that the 1.8% of priestly abuses is what drove them away but any halfway intelligent person would clearly see the holes in that excuse.  That is like saying that I need to move out of my house because I found mold in the corner of my bathroom. Let me explain my analogy. I originally had put "dirt" but thought....wait, we can live with dirt. We can not live with mold. It MUST be removed or it will grow and be a cancer for the inhabitants. Making it in the corner of the bathroom is only to compare the size to the rest of the house. It is not meant to imply that it is insignificant because it is small and in the corner.  How about we just clean it up and continue to live here? What a novel idea! Pardon my sarcasm but these people are doing a serious disservice to the victims of abuse. The victims are not looking for a "gang" of supporters. They are looking for healing and justice...appropriate justice....on the appropriate people. They need our prayers!! The church needs our prayers!! The Priests and Bishops need our prayers!!  My "Support Bishop Finn" signs are useless and empty without prayer. The SNAP protesters are nothing more than an angry, ugly mob if they abandon prayer, which they have. I just went to the SNAP website and NO WHERE does it mention praying for ANYTHING. Even in the section I was sure I would find it in...nothing...nada. As a matter of fact, they gave a litany of ways you can help "make a difference." It had 12 "quick and easy ways you can prevent future abuse, and help already wounded survivors to heal."

When I read "quick and easy", I thought I would surely find prayer in this list. Nope. Nothing. Their last and longest plea on the list was for money.  No surprise there either. If you're not going to worship the true God, you're bound to worship a false god. It is in our hearts to worship and desire something greater than ourselves. If you're prayer life has been twisted into a spiral of nothingness, examine your love and pursuit you have for something else. Perhaps....money? Perhaps...the next party? Perhaps...sex? Gone off on another tangent again!! Focus Katy!!

So? What can you do to help the victims? According to SNAP, it's not prayer. God is not even mentioned.

When I stood in support of Bishop Finn, one of our Dad's invited the SNAP protesters  to pray with us. Not only were we turned down, they laughed and talked then entire time. Where are their hearts exactly? Why are they REALLY there on the sidewalks? Is it really for victims or does it stem from a hatred for the church....

"You will know them by their deeds." Matthew 7:16

How fitting. Praying for Priests and Religious on Vocation Day.

Courageous

Last night, I took 12 teenagers out to see the long awaited movie, Courageous. I have been counting down the days until this movie came out. Usually, when I get my hopes really high about a movie, I always end up disappointed. Even when the movie is great, my standards were over-the-top going in and ends up losing esteem as the story line plays out. I have never awaited and looked forward to a movie more than I did this one and I can tell you that it exceeded my expectations that were already put on a pedestal equal to their past films...Fireproof, Facing the Giants and Flywheel.

This movie was about fatherhood. It was about what it really means to be a man.  I'm talking, REAL manhood. The kind that stands up and fights for the good, crushes the bad, holds their imaginary weapon at all times in defense of their family, annihilate's evil,  leads their family as the spiritual head of the household and is willing and ready to lay down his life for his wife and children. Hubba-HUBBA. That is my kind of man!

Earlier in the day, I had a 2 hour Theology of the Body class with 20 teenagers. (The #'s keep going up each week!) We talked and discussed and watched video's all about LOVE. We defined it as giving of yourself completely to another person. Total self-donation. Our short 5 minute video was from the movie Princess Bride. Every command the princess gave to her farm boy was responded with "As you wish." Her farm boy gave his entire self to the princess. The girls in my class were fanning themselves at the end. This is what God has stamped into the hearts of men. This is what they want to do for us. This is what will fulfill them and give their life real purpose and meaning. Our only simple job as women is to be submissive to their calling. And NO Christian Neiderhiser, it is NOT "You wish". It's "AS YOU WISH."  (He's still single, btw)

Please head out this weekend to see Courageous. I wish I could say more but I have some total self donation I need to extend to my family which will include some hair-do's on baby dolls, puzzles, tickling and making eye contact for an entire conversation.

Happy Birthday Max

In January, 2000, I was driving home from daily Mass with my 6, 5 and 10 month old baby. I felt a very familiar, yet unique, feeling come over me. I pulled over, threw up all over the side of the road, looked up and said, "Oh no. Not this. Please God. My baby is only 10 months old!" I turned my van around and bought an overpriced pregnancy test at the local drug store. Yep. Max was on his way. He had been on his way for several weeks already. It is difficult to explain the mixed emotions that can go on simultaneously with a "surprise" baby ....scared, joy, worry, ecstatic, nervous, giddy. Only a woman can understand. Well, a menstruating woman, anyway. 

On September 21st, 2000, on his exact due date, he arrived! He was a spittin' image of his blond headed, blue eyed sister. Max loves it when I tell the story of his hospital stay. He was a screamer. I don't know if there was another mother who tried to return their baby as hard as I did. I pressed that red button over and over to get the nurses to take him away. Minutes later, a sweaty and disgruntled nurse would wheel my screaming baby back into the room. There was nothing I could do! I had to leave the hospital with this baby! Max did not have colic. He simply had the temperament of a child that screamed when he did not get exactly what he wanted. While Nick would hit, slap and beat up anyone to get what he wanted (he wouldn't hurt a fly now), Max just screamed for it. I'm not sure which is better. I was blessed with a boy that was given both of these character traits in Ben....groan....but God has blessed me abundantly with my wonderful mellow Matthew.  I still can not believe that all of these kids came out of the same womb. Will I ever have two kids that are anything alike? Ever? It is humbling to say the least.  Do you want to know my parenting tip on anything?? I will give you 8 different answers!

God has a plan for all of these different personalities. I have watched my little Max grow into a fine, generous, happy and sensitive boy. All of his screaming he did as a baby was just the signs of a boy who would be a sensitive soul. He looks around for ways to care about people. He is the one who prowls the van for food whenever we see a homeless person on the side of the road. He is the one who made sandwiches and water and had me drive around town to look for them. Max looks out the window quietly for a while, trying to come up with ways to help the weak and the helpless and then shares all of his idea's with me. After Max won first place in the Pinewood Derby, he said, "Winning once is enough. I don't want to win anymore. I like to see how happy other people are when they win." Oh, to be the mother of Max Christy! What did I ever do to deserve such a gift in him?

Just when you think there could not be a better gift in such a young man, there is more! Max is the one who makes the whole world laugh, including himself. When Max laughs, he laughs with his whole body. Every molecule of his being is laughing and wriggling about too. This house would be bare and empty and quiet if he were not here. He is what keeps this family hoppin' and happy.

I don't have any concrete, scientific proof but I am quite sure that God has a very special and unique plan for all His "surprise" babies. I can not wait to see God's plan for Max's life unfold year by year. This has been and will continue to be very exciting!!

Thank you God for my screaming baby.

Happy Birthday Max.

Festival of Fun

Our family has been going to the Festival of Fun that is held at our parish every year. We look forward to it and will stop at nothing to make sure we attend, even if it falls on my sisters birthday. Sorry sis.

After 13 years of these festivals, a pattern begins to develop. It is too bad that I had to learn so many things the hard way....

~bring more money than you think you need

~bring big bags to carry everything

~stop ordering the whole lunch plate (I can ever eat it all)

~if your patient, you can get all the concession items 1/2 off at the close of the day.

~pick all the Dr. Peppers first. They go too fast.

~volunteer to work the last hour of the day so you can play and be worn out before your shift. Plus, Mom's usually out of money by then.

~Go straight to the prize booth first and pick the prizes you want to win coupons for.

~If you win BINGO twice in a row, leave. You get dirty looks if you stay:)

~Always act like you've been searching for your child everywhere when you see someone trying to bring him back for you. Or just hide if they haven't made eye contact with you yet.

I love this festival because, not only do the kids play all the games but they know everybody and everybody knows us. This event makes me feel more like I'm part of a family than any other event at our church. I can always count on the same familiar faces working in the kitchen and behind the raffle table. I was a little sad when the nice man, Keith White, was not working the moon walk. It has been a few years since his passing but that was HIS job. Without fail....sigh. When one door shuts, another one opens! For the first time in my history with Coronation of Our Lady, our priest was there! The entire time!! Playing games!!! And cleaning up!!!! Wow. I now have a Spiritual Father to go with my spiritual family!!!!!  

What I LOVE about this day more than anything is that there is no standing around, wandering what to do next. The kids know. This is old hat to them. They know which games produce the most tickets and which adults are the most generous with prizes;)

Nick - He makes a bee line for the ring toss over the bottles of pop and wins every Dr. Pepper he can. He fills up my table until I'm too embarrassed to sit there anymore.

Samantha - She has picked out her prize...a suitcase/backpack combo. 50 coupons. She's off, bringing me coupons every few minutes to add to the collection that the little kids are handing me to keep "safe".

Mary Kate - She eats...

Max - My generous and loving boy picks prizes that he thinks other people would like. He's picked a gold and diamond decorated, glass turtle. He wins it for his 17 year old crush, Christi. Awwww....

Theresa - A bit on the greedy side. She wants her own bag, her own coupons, her own prizes and her own drink that no one has put their cooties on.

Ben - I try not to watch what he does. He's the one I hide from when nice old people come looking for me.

Josie - The cutest red headed pig tails in the whole church. Not a minute went by when she didn't have a sucker in her mouth and tickets in her hand.

My parents saved the day. I had just spent my last dollar. LOL.

Boys and toilets. I don't get it.

This will keep my little Ben out of trouble. Right? Actually, this is what he loves to do. He wants to just be in charge of something and he is always good at it. Good job Ben. Thanks for my coupon and prize.

Of course, right on cue, our table was the dead last one to get cleared off, cleaned and put away. We spend every minute we can at the festival. I am proud of my little church and my little church family. We are loved there and we love them.

Bedtime

I have been having many conversations with people about Roy's deployment. Within each conversation, I add that this time should be a little easier on me because I have older kids now and bedtime will not be so torturous on everyone. I have awful memories of bedtime in 2003-04 when Roy went to Kuwait and I was home with 5 kids ages, 9,8,4,2,and 6 weeks. With Mary Kate having special needs, she was around the age 3 category. That is 4 itty bitty kids and Nick. Bedtime was so terrible that I started to dread the evening starting when my eyes opened in the morning. Quite honestly, those stressful, painful evenings consume most of my memories about that deployment.

Have times got any better? After all, I still have 5 kids under 10 years old. Well, the answer is yes. Thank God! For many years, even though each child has their own bed, they all want to sleep together. Every night, 7 kids cram into one room and scatter themselves wherever they will fit.  I counted, and we have 12 real beds...with mattresses! Only 4 of them get used, including my big ol' king size monstrous bed (that I purchased a week after Roy came home from Kuwait because I couldn't get used to sharing the bed when he got back). Now I can make a snow angel in the bed and never touch him! Yes! I am only keeping our beds for decoration and to have something to show DFS if they were ever to question us. 7 of the beds will be made up beautifully, like my little angels make them every morning. Ha!

The kids have a bedtime of 8:00 with the hopes that I will hear the beautiful sound of only the clock ticking or my computer fan running by 9:30. I want the kids to have fond memories of their bedtimes together. I want to hear giggles and rustling about. Tonight, Theresa came out and made 6 cups of ice water and put them on a tray to bring back to the room. Watching her face as she put each cup on the tray brought me to think...this must be like a slumber party every night. Do the kids realize what they have in each other?  Maybe not. They probably believe that a party every night is how everyone ends their day.

I am happy to say that those dreadful memories of bedtime years ago are my memories only. My kids do not remember. Their only bedtime memories will be fond ones. Memories that bonded them together forever.

I got yelled at for flashing the camera light in their eyes. It was for the good of the blog. Kids just don't understand!

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today's Daily Mass Gospel Reading

3	And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?"
4	He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5	and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6	So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
7	They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
8	He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9	And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unlawfully, and marries another, commits adultery."
10	The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry."
11	But he said to them, "Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
12	For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it."

This reading is what really turns people off from the Catholic Church. This has to be one of the most difficult teachings of the church. To sum it up Katy Christy style, once you are in the covenant of marriage, you are married forever. Does this include adultery? Yes. Does this include abuse? Yes. It is difficult to hear but not so difficult to believe once you understand what a covenant really is.

I will be taking a group of teenagers through a journey through the narrative History of the Bible this school year. Some may believe that the Old Testament and New Testament are two very different stories with two very different "God's". This is not so! This is one very beautiful story of our salvation History that guides us through one covenant after another. What will be made very clear is that these covenants will be violated repeatedly. Repeatedly is an understatement. God's people will break every commandment over and over again but they will NEVER be able to break the covenant. Never. This is what marriage is too. UNLESS, it is unlawful. "Unlawful" means that a covenant was never made in the first place. One of the 4 key elements of the FTFF (Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful) was missing. If this is NOT the case, then you are married till death due you part. Even if your spouse grows horns, you can separate to protect yourself and the kids but she is still your wife and he is still your husband.

A very dear friend was walked out on by her husband of nearly 20 years. He simply did not love her any more. She was devastated. She was left home with one teenage boy and an 8 year old boy. After some time passed, I asked her if she was going to pursue an annulment. She said, "No, I know there was a covenant." She is going to remain faithful to him while he remarries and enjoys his new life. Her purgatory time will most certainly be cut short. She is a fine example of what living out the marital covenant really means.

My other example would be my parents. On Aug. 9th, 1971, a Monday afternoon, my parents, Dr. Richard Medary and Geraldine Fackelman made their wedding vows to each other.   Neither one of them knew what their future would hold or they probably would have had 2nd thoughts;) Ok, they would have both ended up thousands of miles apart! Marriage is tough! They were great examples of that too! Not for a glimmer of a moment did I ever suspect  they would divorce and move on. Their example alone told me that this was forever. Good times and bad times.

They celebrated their 40th anniversary. I'm sure they could have sat in for Frank and Marie Barone and been just as funny in their own quirky way. My kids love to just watch them talk to each other. The kids laugh and I am usually hiding my face if people are around which seems to make the kids laugh harder. They have a great sense of humor about their daily lives with each other. They genuinely care for one another. I love to watch or hear about how Dad takes care of Mom by cooking for her,  slapping unhealthy food out of her hand and searches for her when he suspects she's fled for another smoke break. She's hard to catch. Mom is giving him a good work out. If either one would have escaped from the marriage years ago, they would have missed out on these experiences;)

My parents give me hope for my future with Roy. When I think about what we will be like when he's 80 and I'm still a ripe 68;) I know we will be just fine thanks to my parents example of how to live out your covenant even when the horns grow and recede....and grow...and recede...



This says it all. This is the marriage covenant in action. I love you Mom & Dad



The Days are Numbered

My husband is days away from leaving for an entire year in Afghanistan. I love him so much. He is my best friend. He is a man with a magic touch (as I like to call it). Whenever something breaks around here, Roy comes along and waves his hands around and everything comes together, tighter and more solid than before. I have been called in Ephesians 5 to be submissive to him. I am under (sub) the "mission" of my spouse. What his is mission?  To love and serve me. Please, don't let me stand in your way, dear husband. I will be happy to be submissive till death do us part.

In these past few weeks, I have gotten the most heartfelt comments from people...strangers even. Grown men, with a tear in his eye, will come up to me with their fist over their heart and say, "Please thank your husband for me."  Friends and family will stop me with pity and compassion and offer to help me during Roy's deployment. My elderly neighbor, who can barely walk, pleaded for me to call her if I need any of my children watched for any reason. Oh, how I want to boldly say, "It is I who should be serving you!"

If you have seen me in the past few weeks, you should have seen peace and joy. I have never felt the presence of God more. Even when I am alone, I feel like a puppy whose owner just came home. God is all around me. He is most certainly in the company that I keep but He is also in all the strangers I meet and even in the emptiness of my home and in my car. I feel Him so close that I get the giggles and want to clap like Tinker Bell. God has even gifted me with a new, God loving, future Saint of the Church priest. God is so good to me. He is so much better than I deserve.

So, am I walking around with the poor pitiful me tone?...Home AAAALL ALONE with 8 minor children and no husband? I only pull that out when I HAVE to...like when I have to take my car into the mechanic and REALLY don't want to be charged an arm and leg. You know, the same price Roy used to charge his unsuspecting customers.  I will not be feeling sorry for myself. I will have my head held high and my sleeves rolled up. There is something a little exciting about taking on more responsibility around here. Truth be told...Roy is and enabler! His hard work kept me on the lazy side. The side that got to "fold laundry" for hours while watching the greatest tv show ever created, "Murder She Wrote". Netflix will be there next year. It will be ok. My withdraw and heavy breathing in a bag will be short lived.

It is true, not all my moments will be so full of joy. I found myself numb and still and tearful on my laundry room floor yesterday. Last night, Nick's emotions caught up with him as he listened to a young man with special needs read his report on a Eucharistic Miracle. He silently sniffed, wiped away one tear at a time and stared out his window for the 45 minutes it took to get home. Roy's days are numbered and we are both feeling it. We are both feeling inspired and fearful at the same time. We do not know what emotion we will have an hour from now. But we do know that we are well taken care of. We are well loved. But mostly, we have a communion of believers praying for us. We will be fine. Come What May.  

God above me

God below me

God to my right

God to my left

 - St. Francis of Assisi

 I am an energetic puppy with my Master all around me.