Extreme Makeover Part 3 - Homeschool Style

“What started out as a simple burglary, ended up being an extreme makeover.” ~John Harrison (homeschool Dad & super hard worker)

 This part of the story is difficult to write about. I want to pick the right words to bring you into the story and feel….really feel the graces and blessings that went on that weekend in January.

 I walked into the house at 2:00pm on Thursday. I was SO excited about the weekend and couldn’t WAIT to arrive. The first thing on the agenda is to pack up everything that looks like it could fit into a washing machine. Altogether, I think there were about 40 bags to fill. Step 2 was to put everything that wasn’t heavy furniture into tubs. Step 3, take out the furniture and put it where my post-it-note said. Each post-it-note said “Basement”, “CK” (for Christ the King…Fr. Lockwood graciously volunteered his garage for storage) or “Dump” (which meant that it needs to go on the dumping trailer). Step 4 was to prepare the walls for painting the next day.

 Ok, those were MY plans. Here is what really happened. My first volunteer, Siobhan & her daughter Lucy, arrives and begins packing up. This is very impressive given the fact that Siobhan is about 13 months pregnant with baby #10. The graces are already coming! I don’t know how she was able to help me for as long as she did but she persevered and even took home about 10 bags of laundry to do on Friday and Saturday.

 The next thing I remember is blinking and having a packed house full of people packing and working diligently for hours. Mike Cucar arrived to scope out the bathroom with the intention of just putting new tile on the floor. He decided that having a whole new shower, floor board, sink, vanity, lights and plumbing would be a good idea too. Ok? I’ll take it!!

 As everyone is packing and packing and carrying objects from place to place, I walked into the dining room only to see a kitchen floor being ripped out! My jaw dropped. What the heck? We only have 2 more days!!! After an hour or so, Roy calls me into the kitchen so I can listen to Paul Hermes with his bright idea….”We can tear out all of these cabinets and sink & get them new ones. No big deal. It’s easy.” WHAT??!! Easy?!  Again….2 days people!! 2 days!! No one seemed to care.

 At this point, I started to really see all the puzzle pieces coming together. A friend of mine had offered to donate her refrigerator and kitchen sink. What a coincidence! Or was it? A group of Facebook friends got together & donated money to buy a small kitchen island. One of my Theology of the Body students offered to get a group together to sand and paint the upper remaining kitchen cabinets at my house. Out of the kindness of my heart, I surprised them with a kitchen table and chairs to sand and glossJ They were more than happy to oblige.

There are several incidents that can only be described as miraculous. They might be better understood when put in a list:

·       We were never absent a tool and they were never misplaced

·       Every time people came to the house with donations, it was just what we were looking for

·       No one argued about how things were to be done

·       There was a job for everyone that was perfect for them. No one was bored

·       I didn’t yell at my husband or son at all. Seriously.

·       Ginette & Laura used a power too with a “criss-cross thingy on the end”…aka….a phillips head drill bit

·       The money envelope was always full

·       Every time a tool was needed, somehow, it was always right there. If I was asked where the putty knife was, it was like the sky opened up and heaven shined down on the perfect putty knife.

·       Everyone wanted to be there and no one wanted to leave.

·       A family came that didn’t know the Connors or anyone else there. They just stood in the yard and said they wanted to be a part of this.

·       No one bumped into the wet paint….except John Harrison. He grabbed a wet hand rail but that was funny

·       My kids never called me

·       It never felt too crowded even when we had 50 people pacing around

·       Food & water appeared out of no where

·       When we were running low on water, someone brought more without knowing we needed it

·       People were cancelling plans to stay longer or come back the next day

·       I was NEVER overwhelmed or anxious or impatient

·       The same super pregnant woman stayed on her feet for hours on end on Sunday to put the house back together.

·       The weather was warm every day and only rained a little after the night was over.

·       A husband and wife team came, scoped out what was missing and bought it. They bought every room new light fixtures, new light switches and outlets throughout the house.

·       We didn’t kill the sensitive Chameleon

·       There were more jobs done than there were people there

·       A kitchen and bathroom were built in 3 days

·       There was a huge box of wash cloths that never disappeared

 

This was an amazing event that no one has ever been a part of before and an event that, hopefully, will never have to happen again. It was surreal.  It really was like a dream. Imagine all of your friends and family arriving in heaven at the same time. Every one of you are walking slowly and trying to take in all of the majesty. This was a parallel experience at the Connor’s house. In my own personal life, when I had baby #8, I walked around the maternity room very slowly, staring and sniffing everything around because I never wanted this feeling and experience to escape my memory. This is how we all felt. No one wanted this experience to end even if it meant paying the price of hard work and time.

 Here is my attempted list at what was really done and I’m quite certain that the list is much longer. No one was out to point and say “Look what I did!!” The people were humble. These were not the friends that appear out of the woodwork if the Connor’s would have won the lottery. These are real & true stewards of God. It wasn’t just the experience, it was the people. We are all so blessed to have been with each other.

  God’s To-Do List….

·       Put everything that can fit into a washing machine in bags to be taken home by 4 families that not only wash them but fold, sort and come back to put them all away & stay for hours to help with other chores

·       Remove all vent covers and vacuum them out

·       Redo the entire bathroom & make it more beautiful than any other bathroom you’ve ever stepped into

·       Sort all of Patricks CD’s into a tub

·       Put all bookshelves in the basement and bring new matching bookshelves into the house

·       Put a beautiful wreath on the front door

·       Put a vase of beautiful flowers on the end table

·       Put an extender thing on the gutter to make the water flow further away from the house

·       Bring in a smaller and space saving entertainment center

·       New couch & love seat

·       New area rug

·       Remove carpet in every room in the house

·       New therapeutic King size mattress for the parents

·       New box springs

·       Electric blanket

·       New sheets & comforter for every family member

·       Trundle bed for Ciara & Ella

·       New dressers and cubbies for the kids

·       Paint every room on the upper floor

·       Paint all the trim and window frames in the house

·       Paint the closets

·       Paint both bathrooms

·       Spend countless hours on making the bathroom vanity more beautiful than anything you can find in the store

·       Move refrigerator to the garage which will now be their back-up refrigerator

·       Trim down or remove every bush in the front and back yard

·       Turn a slab of wood into a functioning and working back door

·       Paint the front door (twice)

·       Paint the back door

·       Take the hanging hooks from the living room and mount them in the closet

·       Organize the winter hats and gloves

·       Match all the shoes and pitch the one’s with no matches

·       Put up new curtains and rods on every window

·       Take down and pitch all the blinds (they harbor lead!)

·       Paint the walls that lead to the basement

·       Find and fix every leak in the bathrooms & kitchen

·       Fix the wire that Roy accidently sawed throughJ

·       Tear out the kitchen floor

·       Put down a new tile floor in the kitchen

·       Take all the cabinet doors down to be sanded and painted

·       Put in a new refrigerator

·       Take all the garage refrigerator shelves home to be soaked, cleaned and returned

·       Build the new dressers for boys and girls

·       Sand, gloss and replace all the handles on the parents dresser

·       Area rugs for the kids rooms

·       Runner rug for the hallway

·       Test the smoke detectors

·       Clean out the dryer vent system

·       Clean out the back yard & pitch the broken toys

·       Take off the basement door and paint it with chalkboard paint

·       Fix hole by the back door

·       Sort all the books by categories in moving boxes

·       Clean the house numbers

·       Scrub all the hardwood floors

·       Put in new kitchen cabinets and sink

·       Take down all of the dishes from the top of the cabinets and have the neighbor clean them

·       Scrub the hell out of the bathtub

·       Door discs in every room to cover the holes from the door knobs

·       Make a small play area for the kids downstairs

·       Bring in a 2^nd island in the kitchen for the microwave and more storage

·       Hang up Ciara’s toy thing from the ceiling

·       Scrape off all the old and new paint from the windows

·       Pull bunk beds apart

·       Put all of Nolan’s collection stuff together

·       Make 5 shadow boxes with the kids art work in each one

·       Make a sewing machine area for Jill downstairs

·       Bring everything back from Christ the King

·       Make Liam a loft bed and a new place for his nook

·       3 new mattresses for the kids

·       Under the bed storage units for everyone

·       New screen door

·       Clean off sidewalk and steps

·       Vacuum basement stairs

·       Make a chore list organizer for  Jill & the kids to help keep up with cleaning

·       Get a new high tech stove/oven combo

·       Clean out Patricks car

·       Fix door handle and other odds & ends in Patricks car

·       Organize the medicine/linen closet with little baskets and labeled containers

·       Pull out carpet tracks in all the bedrooms and hallway

·       Replace every light switch and electrical sockets

·       Replace all light switch and electrical socket covers

·       Find every light or electrical socket that doesn’t work and fix it

·       Replace every bulb that is out

·       Make 3 trips to the dump

·       Put away all the clothes that fit into the dresser and leave the rest in marked bags for Jill to go through later

·       Clean the piano & scrub clean the bench

·       Clean, sand, gloss and polyurethane up the kitchen table and all the chairs

·       New knob on the bathroom vanity

·       New door knob & lock on the front door

·       Power wash out the gutters

·       Rake all the leaves around the house

·       Give Patrick about 20 Lighthouse CD’s to listen to.

·       Organize the basement & label every container

·       Clean the TV

·       Take out the old oven and make it into a food storage/pantry

·       Throw out 5 old appliances that didn’t work (3 dryers, 1 refrigerator & 1 dishwasher)

·       Scrub clean the inside of the garage refrigerator

·       Replace the items that had to be thrown away….(kitty litter box, hairbrushes, etc)

·       4 new trash cans for the bedrooms

·       3 new laundry bins

 This list isn’t meant for you just to read through. It is to bring you into the story of what God’s plan was. I was thanked quite a bit for putting this together but did I really put this together? NO! I can’t take credit for anything! This was a work of God and whatever favors Nolan asked for from Him. This was a group of people who spiritually have their arms wide open for God to work through them. Everything good that was accomplished was from God.

 

Believe it or not, this is STILL to be continued!!!!!! Part 4 is yet to comeJ

 

 

Extreme Makeover Part 2 - We "Plan" while God laughs

On January 11^th, 2013, I was all by myself & on my way to visit my husband in Wichita. Patrick’s mother, Kathleen, called and asked me if I knew anyone who could come in and clean up the Connor’s house. She lives states away and had the same gnawing feeling that everyone else had of needing to do something for her son & his family. I replied, “I think I can do better than that.” I assured her that I could get a few friends together and really go at the housework if she would get them out of the house for a weekend.

 The dates were chosen and it was time to send out the e-mail to my homeschool loop. My original e-mail asked for volunteers for a “deep cleaning, yard work, mounting a ‘couple’ book shelves, etc.” I had NO idea how this endeavor would end up. 61 families responded to my e-mail. I don’t think I know 61 families but whatever, I’ll take it. I had 2 weeks to come up with a plan. I asked a couple of my partners in crime, Laura Holden and Ginette Green, to come to the Connor’s home and help me figure out what each room needed. I took notes and made categories. We made a perfect team. We each had qualities, idea’s and personalities that complimented each other. Laura is a thinker, organizer and planner. PERFECT!! The planning scenario went something like this…. As we went into each room, Laura placed herself in the center of the room, circled it slowly and put her index finger on her lips and chin for about 2 minutes while Ginette and I stared at her in stone silence. The talking and planning and taking notes began. Off to the next room with a repeat of silence and watching Laura think. Before we knew it, 3 hours have gone by and every room had a plan.

 I went home and sent out my first e-mail that consisted of everything we wanted to have donated. Since people were willing and in the mood to help in ANY way they could, this was tooo easy. The donations began pouring in. I had a family from every part of the metro area offering to be a drop off point for donations. Philip & Natlie Sadler up North, Laura Holden in Independence, Stephanie Jacobson on the Kansas side, me in South Kansas city & Ginette Green in Raymore. I tried to keep my new “Helping Connors e-mail loop” up-to-date with what donations have been taken. Within a day, I almost had everything I needed so I thought up of some “pie in the sky” donations, as I liked to call them. They were donations that were for luxury only and were not necessary. These were items like a mattress pad, electric blanket, etc.

 Since I didn’t want to overwhelm the e-mail loop, I sent out my plans one at a time. First was the pleading for donations. The second e-mail was the “Big Jobs”. I look at my list of big jobs and just laugh now. But when I was typing them out, the only one that was laughing was God & Nolan. “You poor, poor girl. You have no idea what is really going to happen.”

 This was my “Big Jobs” list….

 Pick up carpet & tack stips in hallway (maybe boys room too)

Pull bunk beds apart & separate into 2 separate beds

Find the studs and mount the hooks by front door

Mount bookshelves in living room and possibly the kids bedrooms

Put up a new screen door in the front

Put up curtains and curtain rods

Fix hole in family room floor

In bathroom, boys room, girls room

Put up door stops in all the rooms

Clean out Patricks car

Bent fence in the back yard

Trim branches hovering over the driveway

Make an altar on the family room shelf

Get rid of the non working appliances (3 dryers, 1 refrigerator, 1 dishwasher)

Make a corner in the basement a play area for the kids

Put toilet in the parents bathroom

Put door knob on the back door

 

Yes, God was laughing. This was about 5% of what really happened that weekend.

 

To be continued…..

Extreme Makeover Part 1 – Comfort the Sorrowful

In the Catholic Church, there are 7 Spiritual works of mercy. Some of them are: Counsel the doubtful, bear wrongs patiently, instruct the ignorant. Comforting the sorrowful is the spiritual work of mercy that friends, family and acquaintances have been offering the Connors family ever since the terrible tragic day of Dec. 31, 2012.  Eleven year old, Liam, tells his mother that his 13 year old brother, Nolan, looks sick. Mom walks into Nolan’s bedroom to find his lifeless body on the bed. For reasons yet to be known, the young boy had passed away sometime in the night. I can’t even imagine how she must feel. Only once for less than a minute did I feel like something terrible MIGHT have happened to one of my kids. That was the longest minute of my life. I was physically nauseated and an emotional whirlwind. I cannot wrap my brain around that minute lasting for an hour, a day, months or years.

I can think of one mother & father who lost their son, their only son. The mother was the most loving and nurturing, not only to her son but to everyone young & old. There is no one that was more undeserving of such suffering. Her son not only died a violent death but she had to clean up the bloody mess. Watching Nolan’s grandpa clean up the blood that was spilled by the EMT’s reminded me of this story.  The parallels were striking. I know that Jill could seek comfort from this mother. Her name is Mary, our spiritual Mother in Heaven. Jill & Patrick are feeling abandoned by God as they suffer, have no answers and do not see the point of robbing them of their precious boy.  Another person that can relate to this feeling is Jesus. God’s Son even felt abandoned by His Father, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He felt abandoned by the same Father that took Nolan. The parallels of Jesus’ death and Nolan’s death do not stop with feeling abandoned by God. The story continues. With the death of Jesus came redemption, mercy, the opening of heaven, blessings, graces and more graces being poured out. The death of Nolan will and has brought redemption, mercy and graces that I thought would be sprinkled everywhere. How naïve I was!! There has been a downpour of graces that I can’t WAIT to tell you about!

People are coming out of the woodwork giving support to this family. The funeral plans were immediately paid for in full by an anonymous donor. Thousands of dollars were collected, flowers, gifts and gift cards are overflowing their home. The outpouring of comfort is constant. Everyone wants to do more.

“What do they need?”

“How can I help?”

“Do they have clothes for the funeral?”

“Do the boy’s need haircuts?”

“How are they with food?”

“Do they need help cleaning up for company?”

“Are all of their appliances working?”

“Do they need a deep freezer for all their meals?”

“Tell me what to do!!?”

To begin with, friends from the homeschool community set up a breakfast/lunch/dinner schedule for 2 months straight. The slots filled up quickly. They were inundated with food and supplies by day 3. The donated deep freezer was on its way!

Within 3 days, all the kids clothes….shoes, belts, tie’s, socks, dress shirts, dresses, stockings, suit pants & jackets were bought and delivered for all of the kids. A generous wife & mother, Linda, made a wonderful video tribute of Nolan and worked together with my husband to get it set up and on display for the visitation and funeral. There were visitors and playdates for the surviving kids to keep them distracted and happy.

 Although the outpouring of support was overwhelming and miraculous, people were still left with all these feelings that they needed to do more.

 

And more came….:))

 

To Be Continued……

 

 

Trying to make sense

Eternal Rest grant unto him O Lord and let your perpetual light shine upon him and may he rest in peace.

 The world lost a beautiful boy on Dec. 31^st, 2012. His name is Nolan Connors. He was the oldest out of 5 children. Nolan was only 13 years old. He was a remarkable young man. He was so gentle and kind to his younger brothers and sisters. He was always thinking about other people. He went to bed completely fine. Sometime in the night, he just stopped breathing and was brought back home to God. As you can imagine, this is a terrible blow to his parents. Just 10 days earlier, Nolan gave his mom a booklet that was full of everything he was going to do for her in the next year. He was full of love. Their suffering is greater than I can imagine. Why must they suffer so much? What the heck is the point of this pain?  I remember asking myself this question years ago when I was talking to a mom who was unable to have any more children after her 2^nd one was born. This woman was the happiest and most joyful and reverent woman I knew. Why would God not want her to have dozens of children?!  During my studies about Purgatory and suffering, the puzzle pieces began coming together. Is it better to suffer the way these parents have, who have brought up this young man the way they were instructed by God, than it is in Purgatory?

Without question, it is better to suffer on earth than in Purgatory for 3 reasons:

One, suffering on earth is easier and less painful.

Two, we increase our own merit with our sufferings here on earth. However, our sufferings in Purgatory earn us no extra merit. All opportunity to gain merit ends at death. Here is a simple example to illustrate. Imagine we are “cups” of all sizes, meant to be filled with God’s grace. Sin empties us, taking away grace. Each time we suffer on earth and unite our sufferings to Christ’s, offering them as a sacrifice to the Lord for ourselves and others, we not only add grace to our cup, but we increase the size of our cup. Therefore, each time we embrace suffering as God’s gift for our betterment, we increase our capacity to hold more grace. In Heaven, our “cup” will be completely filled, no matter our size. All souls will be completely happy and fulfilled, but some will have the capacity to hold more. This “extra capacity” is the merit we have earned on earth by saying to “yes” to all God sends us. However, in Purgatory, our sufferings do not increase the size of our “cup” any longer.

Third, each time we embrace suffering here on earth with love, not only do we bring grace to ourselves, but also to the whole world. This perhaps is the greatest reason to willingly embrace suffering here on earth because it is true charity toward others. Each good act here on earth has positive benefits for the entire Body of Christ, i.e. fellow man. Each act brings grace into us and the world. Suffering in purgatory does not bring grace to the world; it simply serves as a means to purify us, but brings no added grace or merit to anyone on earth. True charity impels us to desire suffering on earth in order that we can help others by accepting our own. Many of the saints actually said that the angels have a holy jealousy toward us because of our ability to suffer, which demonstrates our love for God and others.

(copied and pasted from piercedhearts.org)

If it is really better to suffer here than in Purgatory, than I am getting a greater understanding about why God chose the mom that dreamed her entire life of having a quiver full of children and these parents who lost their son. Their faith is so great that God is blessing them with this suffering.  If you are not Catholic, I imagine that you are gasping. To put in more plain words; God is having them suffer their Purgatory on Earth for the redemption of themselves, their family and those in the Church Suffering (Purgatory) and Church Militant (here on Earth). God knows that these parents will use this suffering for the salvation of souls. God is making it easier to “increase the size of their cup”.

“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” Colossians 1:24 Read that slowly again.

 “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church”

There is a verse in the Bible that says that Christ didn’t do enough? His suffering was lacking something? We have to make up for what He was lacking by suffering ourselves? Not quite. Of course Christ’s suffering was lacking nothing. He is making room for us to join Him in our sufferings. When we join Him, we can be joyful because we are uniting ourselves to Christ. It is redemptive.  It is our Purgatory time on Earth.

Nolan’s death reminds me of all of the Old Testament deaths that seemed so senseless and undeserving. Several times, God orders a “ban” on cities and nations. A “ban” meant that every person, animal and material goods were to be wiped out completely. Inevitably, that meant women, children and babies. Why would He ask such a thing and expect us to believe that He is a merciful God? Children and babies…..(Nolan)?  It would make a sane person want to just flip to the New Testament where we can find our loving Father, Son and Holy Spirit who is all good, merciful and forgiving. To avoid believing that these are two separate God’s and therefore being labeled a heretic, we need to make sense of these deaths that are ordered by our loving, forgiving and merciful Father that we know and love.

My Bible study teacher had explained to the class that this was a total and complete sacrifice to God and that it was an in-your-face reminder as to whom these people belonged to in the first place. EVERYTHING belongs to God.         EVERYTHING. The only reason we are here today is because God planted us here at this time for a purpose. We belong to Him and he entrusts our parents to raise and care for us until we return back to our real home.  We have a job to do. We have a purpose to raise our children to love and serve God so they can be happy with Him in the next, even if it’s only for 13 short years. Nolan’s parents fulfilled their job in lesser time then they hoped but never-the-less, their job is complete. They are my hero’s and my role models.

 

“May the Lord Bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! May the Lord look upon you with kindness and give you peace!” Numbers 6:24-26

Christy’s Christmas Letter

Since Christmas technically is 12 days long, I am not late with my letter. From my watch, I am right on time. Yeah, I’m going with that excuse. I really don’t have much of an excuse since I have found myself pacing the house many times with both arms swinging empty ever since Roy came back home in September. Going from raising 8 kids in an old house with everything breaking right and left to having my man coming home is like going from an Olympic sprinter to a napping retiree in an instant. That is no joke! Roy is a worker and I…..am not. I had to roll up my sleeves and step up the game when he left for Afghanistan in September of last year. But once he came back??  Well, I guess I’ve just been sleep walking around here and eating snacks while I watch him work. I can see the look on his face every once in a while. It’s the look that says, “How in the heck have you kept this house and family together for the last year?!” Sorry. There was no gradual transition. For the lack of a better term, I just quit….and napped. I think I have milked his homecoming long enough. He has been back for 4 months already and it’s time for me to pick up the pace!

I have had a successful 1^st semester of homeschooling. That is worth writing since I have had many semesters that were utter failures. I feel like I made some good choices for my kids this year. Nick had his first semester at the local community college that he really enjoyed and gave him hope for future success in higher education. I have Samantha and Josie in an all-day homeschool co-op at a former Catholic School twice a week. Max and Theresa are being schooled at home by me every day. My plan to make them best friends worked like a charm. They do everything together which always includes giggles and laughing with Mom yelling in the background to “Get back to work!!” Benjamin is in the local public school every day. What a gift! That boy is like the bouncy ball that never quits bouncing but at school….he is the star student. Although education is important, it really means squat to me when I visit with his teacher. I just want to know how he is behaving. He is kind and patient, hardworking, polite and disciplined.  Nick has been taking him to school and back every day which has bonded them. It’s cute to see Nick’s signature on Ben’s homework instead of Mom or Dad’s. Little Matthew just goes with the flow, wandering around as happy as a clam. He’s the perfect 8^th child.

Mary Kate is turning 18 which means there is a ton of work to do!! I am working with a lawyer on getting guardianship of her. That is just a ton of fun:/  but it will be a nice field trip with the kids when we have our court date. After many phone calls, long lines and appointments, Mary Kate should be starting Social Security and Medicaid soon. After all of this gets completed, she will be ready to start a new day program for adults with special needs. It is a wonderful facility with very caring staff workers and plenty for Mary Kate to do every day. My one dream I have for her is to go someplace every day where people are genuinely happy to see her. She will have this here and it is a place that can be there for her entire life. She would still live with us, of course!

Along with homeschooling the kids, I went against all the advice from family and friends and became a bus driver for the semi-local public school. I don’t care what you say! I like it. It is only 3 hours in the morning and 2 of those hours, my kids are sound asleep. It can’t get much better than that. I thought it would take a little stress off the family if I brought in some money to help get us through the transition from one house to another with *hopefully* just a couple double house payments until we sell the house that we are in. I may be a little scared of the Junior High kids that have a thick aura of attitude that you can cut a knife with. I may only yell loud enough for the first 4 seats of kids to hear who don’t need to hear me anyway because only the good kids sit up front. And maybe I haven’t been able to catch the kid who is tearing the seams of the seats apart to throw stuffing across 10 rows. BUT, it’s working! I even get to borrow a bus to take dozens of innocent homeschoolers to a chastity talk in January who may or may not be scarred for life if they read what the kids have been writing on the back of the bus seats. If they haven’t been exposed to those words before, they will now….thanks to their chastity teacher.

The big news, which should probably make next year’s Christmas letter instead of this one, is that we are moving! We are moving in mid-February. It has been a long wait…thanks to Roy’s darn deployment. I found this house in March but couldn’t do anything about it until Roy got back into the states. The house is just 3 minutes away so the kids could just drag their stuff there on the back of their bikes. It is the last house on a dead end road with 11 acres. It has 2 ponds, creeks, a pasture and woods. It is surrounded by Army Corp of Engineer property and a walking/biking trail right next to us! We are still close to our church and still have a Walmart within 10 minutesJ  One great gift about this house is that it is owned by friends of ours that were only going to sell to us. We had no competition. They waited a year for us. Isn’t that nice?!  Now that Roy is home from his 12 month vacation, he will be fixing up the inside of this house with painting and carpeting and putting it on the market ASAP. Anyone what a 5 bedroom/3 bathroom house? By the time Roy is finished with it, you will have no idea that a family of 10 lived thereJ

Our church family at Coronation of Our Lady has purged and grown. Now that we have our new priest of only a year and a half, the parking lot is full nearly every day and night. There is always something going on to increase the faith of the parishioners and you can find Fr. Hansen in the midst of it all.  He is everywhere! I can’t hide anywhere in that place without him finding me.  He even found me lurking in the bushes one night (don’t ask).  Our family is walking around with the goal to become saints now. Nick and I go to him for spiritual direction once or twice a month, we frequent confession and go to adoration every week. The girls have a club now where they care for the altar and vessels. He invited our Catholic homeschool group in for classes on Friday’s. He gives me a room & projector for our Theology of the Body class for Teens. He even gives our teens a short Benediction during their break every Wednesday. I feel like I not only have a spiritual Father, but a spiritual Daddy too. He has a genuine love for each one of his sheep. I love my new church family. We all help each other get to heaven. We worship together, pray together, study together, teach each other and care for one another. I was too naïve to know it could be so good. I know now and will never again take anything less than what my new church family has given me and what I have been able to give back.  

May you have a blessed 2013

 Love,

Roy, Katy, Nick, Mary Kate, Samantha, Max, Theresa, Ben, Josie, Matthew

Followers

When I was on a Summer retreat with my 8^th grade class, I remember our leader asking everyone to divide up into two groups. If you considered yourself a leader, we moved to one side of the room. If you thought you were a follower, you moved to the other side of the room. I “followed” my friends to the leader’s side. I was only there for a moment when laughter broke out.  Everyone knew what a joke it was that I would see myself as a leader. In humiliation, I lowered my head and walked to the other side of the room where I belonged.

 I do not remember what this grouping lesson was all about but I do remember that it was a turning point for me. I was forced to define myself as a follower. Being a follower, I believed, was synonymous with being weak and a coward.  That could not have been further from the truth! What I did not know is that I was given this wonderful gift and a huge responsibility. Goodness, how hard can it be to be a follower? LOL. Actually, if you look around your school, work and neighborhood, you will see that it is VERY difficult! My hefty responsibility was to choose who and what I was going to follow and my choices as a child and teenager were not the cream of the crop. 

As a young Catholic homeschool mom, naturally, my posse was full of Catholic homeschool mom’s. Let me tell you, I feel like I am standing neck deep in the most abundant and fertile (yes, the pun is intended) crops. “Cream” of the crop is an understatement. You may feel this way in whatever walk of life you are in right now. I walk the life of a Catholic homeschooler. It doesn’t matter what direction I turn my head, I have someone there to follow, to emulate, admire, respect, adore, etc. The vice I struggle with is the other adjectives to add to the list….to be jealous of, to covet,  envy, to feel inadequate and inferior to.  Where there is a virtue, there is a vice. I have 2 choices. I can rise up, take what I learn from my fellow moms and be a better person or I can feel inadequate and give up. Hmmm. I think I know which choice is the right one. It is so difficult! I find myself giving up all the time and then pulling myself out of the rut. Taking so long to write my next blog is a good example. I read my friend’s blog’s and think that I could never measure up so why bother. The truth is, is that I will never measure up no matter what so what am I going to do about it? I know! I’ll crawl in the corner and die there. Well, that won’t work. The kids will keep pulling me out to feed them. I do not believe that I would be a very happy person. There MUST be another option.

Here is the option…..I have to embrace my “following” quality and get back on the boat. One gift that I have that I feel tops everyone else is that I am very good and picking the right people to follow. I might as well share this gift with youJ

Here is a short list of who I follow. I'm not going to embarrass my friends by calling them out by name. I am only going to include people that you can follow too.  This is not intended to be just an acknowledgment of their greatness….as great as I think they are. I just want you all to feel as inadequate as I do. LOL. NO, NO! I want you to feel as INSPIRED as I do to be a better wife, mom, Catholic, homeschooler, child of God, a better YOU.

http://www.solesearchingmamma.com/

This is my friend, Susan Husband. Along with having 5 boys,, she finds time to blog about her life and what she has learned and contemplated through her soul searching. You know how all of us mom's think too much, especially when we are alone? Oh, is that just me? Well, she is a very fit and beautiful woman inside and out. As she does her daily jog, she compiles all of her idea's, thoughts and memories of her family life and puts them in her amazing blog.

http://catholicicing.com/

Well, this is just about the most creative mom on the planet. How she finds time or even interested in doing all of these crafts is beyond me. I'm ready for a nap just by thinking about doing one more craft with my kids. Oh, how I miss being a young mom. I miss that energy and excitement about just being a mom. With this website, I don't have to think anymore! Yay! She does it for me and I can give my kids lasting memories with one craft at a time.

https://www.facebook.com/JasonandCrystalinaEvert?ref=ts&fref=ts

This is Jason and Crystalina Evert. They give chastity and purity talks to teens around the world. They changed my life and the life of my teenager and the lives of thousands of young people in how we are to look at sex, dating, marriage and true love.

 

http://duggarsblog.blogspot.com/

Now, here's a mom that can make the whole world feel inadequate. As we all repeatedly say that we can't handle the 2 kids that we have, Michelle Duggar is successfully raising 19 kids and has NEVER had to raise her voice. The angrier she gets, the more she softens her voice. She is my hero.

In my regular, day to day life, there are many people that I talk to. I have homeschool mom's and their kids, my parents, my kids, my priest and fellow church members. I have my fellow bus employers and the students. Everyone is different and in drastically different walks of life but everyone has something to offer me and inspire me with. I don't just have to search out the people with all the same value's, principles and faith that I have. Each and every person have gifts that are surpass my own. Each and every person can inspire me in some way. God is so good...

 

 

 

Ghetto Bus Driver Lady

Back in May, Roy and I decided that we found the house we want and we are going to buy it. Actually, I decided this in March but I’ll pretend that this was *our* decision. So, I packed up everything in the house that I was not going to need in the near future so we could put the house up for sale. I scrubbed and cleaned, re-grouted the kitchen floor, spackled and filled holes, sanded, painted and had a daily bon fire going in my backyard. I burned up everything I thought the thrift store didn’t want and I didn’t need in the next 3 months. The poor tree in the neighbors back yard that hangs over our fence looks like a monster took a big bite out of the bottom of it. I covered up my enormous fire pit with sand. I hope the new owners don’t dig too deep!

Well, it turns out that it is impossible to show a house with 10 people living in it. Roy replaced Ben’s bedroom door that had an infinite number of holes of all shape and sizes. Within 2 weeks, my precious little man kicked a hole in it. The grout in the kitchen started to collect syrup and various liquids that are hardly ever clear, shiny water. Two kids went through the ceiling from the attic to the kitchen. The toilet came loose for no particular reason….and on and on. Now we have to resort to Plan B! We just have to be out of this house if we are going to show it. Asking my parents if we could move in only brought about laughter for a while until honest and goodness fear set in. Plan B is a no-go. On to our current Plan C which is to move into our new home and then fix this one up to sell it. Guess what that means? We will be owning 2 houses at the same time! We are very, very blessed to be in the position to own them both but as spoiled as I am, I do not like to be strapped for money. At one time, I worked for the Royal’s and Chief’s games in the concession stand. I enjoyed it but I was gone for nearly 6-7 hours with each game. That is a long time to be away from my family. After about 3 hours, I would have an aching feeling of remorse and guilt for being gone so long. I decided not to continue. I really wanted a job that would take me out of the home but not be gone any longer than 3 hours at a time. Yes, I needed to be out of the home. There is no home business on the planet that I can accomplish in the home without constant interruptions. My “3 hour” job would turn into 8-10 hours! I gave up on the idea that this kind of job was out there. 

My good friend and fellow homeschool mom, Ana, became a bus driver. She didn’t have too many nice things to say about it but it all sounded lovely to meJ All I wanted to hear is “2-3 hours in the morning” and “money”. Nothing else mattered. Lol. SO, off I went to Durham Bus Transportation on Grandview Rd. I walked in the front doors, took my 200 test full of weird questions and got hired. I am very observant when I need to be. I took a good look at everyone that worked there. I was a little worried. My first impression of my future fellow co-workers were not that great. I did not feel like I belonged there. I nudged forward, took my classes, got trained on the bus and got my license. My trainers were wonderful. They knew the bus and the rules and they genuinely cared about safety and I feel like they genuinely cared about me.

 

I was given bus #7. That is the covenant number. The perfect number! God's number. He loves me!!

I am very blessed to only have a morning route. I leave at 5:50am and I’m home by 9:30. Since the first day of school was a ½ day, I volunteered to pick the kids up from school too (the afternoon bus driver was not available). WOW!!! I am NEVER, EVER, EVER doing that again!! To make this short and sweet, the kids were RUDE!! Ok, forget that I said “sweet”. I don’t mean loud and not listening or following the rules. I mean, I was treated with more disrespect than I had ever experienced in my life. Every kid wanted to be dropped off at their front door and every kid wanted to be dropped off first and it seemed like they have never NOT gotten what they wanted when they wanted it with a big cherry on top. Me and my rose colored glasses actually believed that this only happened on TV and movies. But nope! What happens on the bus in TV and movies actually happens in real life. SOOO, that was the last day I ever worked in the afternoon. No thank you!!!!

Now for the good news….they are all dead tired in the morningJ!!!! Yeah! They are probably dead tired from all the torture they are giving their afternoon bus driver. Its not my problem nowJ After my experience with picking them up from school, I went to Adoration and Benediction at my church. I prayed for my students and asked God to protect them from the wickedness and snares of the devil. I then filled up my Holy Water bottle and I was ready for the next day. I sprinkled Holy Water on every seat and said the St. Michael prayer 3 times to protect my students from harm with a small extra prayer to keep them tired and quiet for me. I say this prayer every day on the bus. If nothing else, my prayer life has improved.

It has been 2 weeks now. In that 2 weeks, I have said “Hi” or “Good morning” to every person who has gotten on the bus. On the first day, one young man said “hi” and no one else. No one. Not one kid out of the 115. 2 weeks later, nearly everyone (except the 2 girls that I wrote up) either look at me and grunt or nod or actually speaks a “Hi” or “Good Morning” to me. I am seeing some progress.

Do I like driving the bus you ask? Well, first, thanks for askingJ And second, I LOVE driving the bus! I feel powerful. I get to have the biggest bus on the lot, an 87 passenger snub nose bus. The tires are behind me so I can maneuver around corners with my front end going over the curbs and ditches. I freak out a couple girls in the front seat on one particular turn and I love it. I feel like I have skill. I also enjoy driving the bus because I know I can be a friendly and consistent face that all of the students can begin their day with. I am not influenced by their rudeness they harbor until the end of the afternoon.  

I wish I could talk every anti-homeschooling person into driving a bus for just a week. Its all I ask. Then, I will forgive you. There is no need to beg for mercy.

On the flip side, to every one of my fine friends out there.... Although we teach our children and believe ourselves that everyone has dignity, deserves respect and is made in the image of likeness of God, being a bus driver will put you to the test. I am so glad I took this test because I could see that I was no where close to where I needed to be.  I need to pray and beg for God to give me the gift to see everyone the way He see's them.