Homeschool Co-op 2013-14

Every year, I involve the kids in some sort of co-op setting with other homeschoolers. Most years, we just met once a week for various classes, usually non-core subjects like Art or PE. There were 3 years where 4 families’ rotated houses and each mom taught one or two different subjects. I think that co-op was my favorite because I bonded with the other 3 moms and my kids have tight relationships with the kids they schooled with. Our High Schoolers were graduating and the grade levels were beginning to not match up well, so it was time to move on. 



For the past 5 years, I was participating in and out of a Catholic co-op group that met on Friday’s at St. Bridgets parish in Pleasant Hill. This was such a blessing to our family because we all got to meet and become friends with other like-minded families. Now my kids were starting to have real friends and real play dates with other kids. I had put Theresa in 1^st and 2^nd grade at our local public school and I would never let her have a play date. It is not because I didn’t know the parents. Most of the time, it was because I DID know the parents. I didn’t trust anyone. In the co-op group, I didn’t just have one meet-n-greet talk with the mom’s. We had full conversations for weeks on end and developed bonded friendships before our kids knew that play dates were even a possibility. I love it! I am SO strict about who my kids spend time with and they don’t even know it. If you asked them, they would say that I am the most un-strict mom.  I hardly ever say no to play dates no matter who they are and it is all because I trust everyone that they are surrounded with at the co-op……like-minded Catholic-Christian homeschoolers.

Josie and her cute little friend, Emily. They called each other and color coordinated their uniforms

When I was a young mom, I had other Catholic homeschool mom’s in a particular category. I was scared of them. I thought only moms who thought highly of themselves would take over the job of educating their kids. They must believe they are smarter/better/stronger than all the surrounding schools and teachers. They must be self-righteous. I have 15 years of meeting family after family that homeschools and learned 2 very valuable lessons. If you read nothing else from this blog, I hope you read this…..#1 We all think that everyone else has it all together and everyone else is doing it better. It is our own insecurities that make us believe that other homeschoolers are self-righteous. #2 These moms are nothing more than regular, faithful and insecure women who are all struggling to do what is best for their kids. These are NOT self-righteous women. They are the most humble of the human species. They are the polar opposite of self-righteousness. They are humble. They are scared. And they are insecure. They do not want to screw up their kids because they know there will be no school or peers or teachers to blame. This is a heavy burden to carry. All of these myths and misconceptions about homeschoolers can be laid to rest when you actually develop friendships with these moms. They LOVE to hear stories of each other’s struggles and failures so they can be reassured that they are not alone. Sure, I know about 2 mom’s that may fall into that self-righteous category but I know hundreds more that are in that category that are not homeschoolers.  This is a character problem. Not a homeschooler problem.

The St. Bridgets group made a big change this year. They decided to move to two days a week and took over Christ the King that had just closed its doors as a diocesan run parochial school.  We now teach core subjects on Wednesday and Fridays from 8:30-3:20 and wear uniforms. Uniforms!! We have about 140 students. We get the experience of being in a real school but this time, it is run by parents and taught by parents. Meeting only 2 days a week keeps us in line with homeschool laws too.  I think that spending 5 days a week with your friends is what brings about conflict and arguments. Meeting only twice a week allows our kids to miss their friends and be excited to see them again each week. It keeps the friendships alive and healthy.

Here is a little taste of what we do…..

I am the Algebra 2 teacher to 7 High School students. This is my favorite class. Really, any High School class would be my favorite class because I LOVE teenagers, especially those weird boys. I don’t know what disconnect that God put in teenage boy’s brains but it makes them so funny and strange at the same time. I just love God’s design. He clearly has a sense of humor. And these boys are pure and modest in their conversations. After being a bus driver for several months, I will not take for granted the gift of being surrounded by modestly talking teenage boys. They DO exists.

I am the Human Anatomy teacher for 12 fifth & sixth graders. They are all a bunch of jumping jelly beans. I would like to say that they are just super excited to be in my class but I think all of their teachers have a bit of a problem keeping them still. I love this class in spite of their vocal enthusiasm. They all act like I am their favorite teacher which warms my heart and makes me more forgiving. My Algebra class makes me feel that way too.

The diocese has a program for adults that want to learn more about their faith called BHI (Bishop Helmsing Institute). They agreed to do a little adjusting and teach our High School Religion class. So, Dr. Brennan teaches the class and I assign and grade the homework. I LOVE this. I have to grade about 20 papers at a time with everyone giving the same answers. Believe it or not, I do not know everything about the Catholic faith. GASP! I know, right? LOL. After reading the same answer to a question that I didn’t know the answer to 20 times, the answer slowly moves from my short term memory to my long term after the 10^th paper. I’m getting smarter and smarter just by grading papers.

I love these guys. I call Noah's smile the "I-have-nothing-important-to-say smile".....which is nearly EVERY time he raises his hand.

The Edible Cell! I was everyone's favorite teacher by week #2. Yay me!

Ben goes to public school but on 1/2 days, I let him get in uniform and come with us. Poor guy feels left out. One more year buddy!

Max has study hall during my Algebra 2 class because he laughs too much in the regular study hall

 

Homeschooling this year has been a huge success. It has kept me on track. The kids feel overwhelmed with homework but that is only because they are not allowed to fall behind like they are so used to doing when Mom was their teacher. For the first time, they will FINISH the book in ALL the classes. The kids are participating in projects and experiments that they don’t get at home. They do oral reports that they put effort into so they don’t look embarrassed. The kids are so excited about school that they get up EARLY and doll themselves up before I even roll out of bed.  I never have to hurry anyone along. I love having a successful year. I love helping my kids with homework 3 days a week, instead of 5. I love being away from my kids 2 days a week while smiling and waving at them through classroom windows or down the halls. I love those big smiles as if we haven’t seen each other in weeks when it’s only been an hour. This really has been our most successful homeschool year and I am so proud to know all of these fine ladies and their children.

We will always remember Nolan. He passed away on Dec. 31st, 2012

Andrew Benedict Christy

The baby is finally here!! The whole family is SO happy that we are all wandering around happy and confused. Everyone wants to hold the baby at the same time and I can’t keep track who is next. The only thing that is really consistent around here is that I get my baby every time that he cries. As soon as he is calm, I have a swarm of children demanding that they are next to hold him. It is day 4 and nothing has changed. I need to have some dry erase board and a timer at my bedside so I can keep track of who holds him next and make sure they don’t go over their time or I will certainly be hearing, “Theresa has got to hold him for 100 hours….” Or “Samantha has had him AAAALLLLLL day!” Or, “I’ve never got to hold him.” It is a problem but a good problem to have.

I did not find out the sex of the baby. I found out the sex of Mary Kate and it took the element of surprise away so I decided to never do that again. The whole family, including Roy, wanted a girl this time. We do a boy/girl/boy/girl pattern so we did not want to mess that up. Plus, raising boy’s has been a challenge. Keeping them alive is the first problem. Then there is….keeping them out of trouble, keep them from embarrassing me in public, keep them focused, try to get them to care about academics, manners, cleanliness, etc. etc. My biggest fear is the challenge it takes to get them into heaven. What I love about girls is their desire to love and to be loved seems to be so much more visible. They want to love God and be loved by Him. I see boy’s as being a real challenge to desire this same type of love-exchange. This may be all in my head but there it is. This is what goes through my head. I need to get all of these little people to Heaven. It is the job I was entrusted and I don’t want to screw it up. If this is not accomplished with one or more of my children, I will surely blame myself on some level whether there is any credence to it or not. It scares me. Now that I have convinced you that I wanted a girl, I will say in the same sentence that I am happy with my boy. I don’t get to choose what I get. I don’t even get to choose how many or how long I get to keep any of these children. They are not MY children. They belong to God and only He decides how many and how long I can have them. My job is to lead them to Heaven and to trust that He knows what He is doing. He has a reason and plan for giving me Mary Kate, the special needs child, and He has a reason for giving me a boy or a girl. He is WAY smarter than me and I hope to never pretend that He isn’t. If He ever takes one of my children early, I pray and hope that I can carry this same attitude through my grieving process. Until then, the words are easy to say and believe but the actual experience is totally different.

I sincerely believe that this little baby was conceived as a result of my prayers to my friend’s 13 year old son who passed away unexpectedly, Nolan Connors. As I was driving to his house on that day, I begged him to intercede for me. I felt like I got to him first. Maybe he would go to God with my prayer because I was first in line. Maybe that is selfish and childish of me. I am running to the front of the line like its Black Friday or something but I was really wanting another baby and I wanted to seize my opportunity. I got pregnant that month and gave birth 3 months shy of the one year anniversary of Nolan’s death. Forever and ever, little Andrew will be reminded that God answered my prayers because of Nolan’s intersession. This also might be why I had a boy. Maybe he will resemble the same love for nature and the outdoors like Nolan did. I will spend years doing comparisons between the two boys. Nothing will surprise me.

Since Samantha had such a great experience watching the birth of Matthew when she was 10 years old, I thought it would be nice to let Theresa watch it this time with Samantha. Well? Maybe I was wrong. I was expecting the delivery to be the same as the first 8 where I felt NO pain at all because of the glorious and wonderous epideral. That didn’t exactly happen. I had a new doctor fresh out of college and who clearly had somewhere else to go after the delivery and she didn’t have time to wait to give me more of the good juice. I told her that I wanted the pain to go away and she told me that delivering a baby would get rid of the pain. I wanted to slap the…….nevermind. Anyway, my pain was too much for poor little Theresa to bare. She watched as much as she could and hid in the bathroom for much of the time. Samantha dragged her out to see the baby come out but even that didn’t out-way her trauma. Oops. You win some and lose some I guess. When I brought up the idea about letting Samantha watch the birth to my doctor 4 years ago, he said, “That would be a great way to scare her off from getting pregnant.” I made my confused face because that was not my goal at all.  My purpose was to bring my girls into the miraculous experience of life, birth and motherhood. I wanted them to desire this joy for themselves. Not scare them away. Fortunately, Theresa understands. She understands because it was the real deal and she had real loving feelings for the baby. I have preached my hatred toward those stupid fake babies that teenagers come home with from the public school. There is NOTHING real about it. When my REAL baby is asleep at night, I stare at him in the hopes that he wakes up soon so I can care for him and feed him from my life-giving milk. If I had a fake baby crying, I would pick it up from its ankle and toss it in the trash outside. The schools are teaching that they are one in the same.  The real reality is that with one baby, the care you give to him is driven by love.  The other baby, I/you are only caring about ourselves and our peace because we know in our heart of hearts that it is not real.

WARNING!!!!! This picture below is TMI…..nothing graphic but the graphics are implied. I didn’t even put it on Facebook but the girls faces are just priceless and funny. I wish I could have captured Samantha’s face years ago. It was NOT the same expression. LOL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After you recover, here is the rest of the story. …..

 

We had no name for this little baby. We considered Charles, Andrew, Phillip, Simon, Patrick and even Nolan. After several hours of votes and we were all allowed to vote as many times as possible, all hands went up for Andrew. Then everyone thought it would be cute to have the initials ABC. That was my initial (no pun intended) thought too but had to remind myself that this is not a game and this baby isn’t really ours. What would God want? Naming him after the vicar of Christ popped into my head… Francis! It didn’t take long to remember our former vicar, Benedict. Ah ha! Thank you God. You are too kind.

Andrew Benedict Christy

 

 

The New Buddy

Benjamin Richard Christy

 

Like the other pregnancies, all of the kids anticipate who the next buddy will be for the new baby. We picked out Benjamin as the buddy for Andrew. It seems fitting on many levels. I knew this baby would be a boy because he was so aggressive in my womb. He was just as aggressive as Ben. He will have so much to teach this little guy which, in turn, will teach Benjamin a lot of responsibility. I hope it will teach him the patience he needs to be happier and content with his daily life. Ben is so proud to have this responsibility and tells everyone about his new job. He really is a good boy. He may be more high maintenance then the other boy’s were but he brings us such indescribable joy.

 

Time to come home with my new family:)

 

 

 

 

My Faith Conversion Story

Everyone has a conversion story even if they have lived a good and faithful life. Everyone can think of turning moments that brought them even closer to God. Well, I have one too. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Maybe it’s because I have been talking to so many people on Facebook lately that have not yet had a conversion. It makes me appreciate my story so much more.

I grew up a Catholic. My mother was Catholic and loved her faith. My father was a Christian that didn’t feel the need for an organized religion. I coasted through my youth with weekly Mass and twice a year Confession. I attended Catholic grade school and High School, leaving with little knowledge about my faith. There was a gift that I left High School with that I can only describe as a revelation from God. For some reason, God chose me to know from the depths of my heart that the Catholic Church was the True church. I knew that whatever she says was Truth. I haven’t a clue why I knew this since I didn’t know anything about my faith but it kept me out of trouble….and helped me get OUT of trouble.  I know that my list of facts and History that I have since learned cannot bring anyone to the Faith. Only God can do that. I am proof of that. I can only be His instrument. I can only throw out seeds and pray.

When I was 23 years old, married with 2 little kids, I started to feel trapped. Even though I loved my husband dearly, my friends were all still single and I was beginning to miss that life. After several months of confusion and rebellion in my little cage of a house, Roy and I decided to make a drastic change in our lives. We quietly put our friends aside and I made a resolution to learn about my faith. It was the best decision I ever made but the road was extremely tough. I completely understand why it is so difficult to bring people to the Catholic Church. Not only did my church offer nothing to help me with faith formation but as I was reading and learning, I was finding out slowly that the parishioners in my church were not following the rules that I was reading. It was a rough and rocky road for several years. YEARS!

Since my church offered nothing to help me learn about my faith, I thought it would be a good idea to begin by reading all 16 documents of Vatican II that I pulled off my Mom’s bookshelf. Umm, I don’t recommend this as being your FIRST read about the faith. Nevertheless, I still learned and it brought up question after question.

Allow me to give you a little insight about myself. I believed that there was an explanation for everything that didn’t look…..up to par? So, when I read that the bread used in Mass was supposed to be without yeast or honey, I went straight to the president of our Altar & Rosary Society and asked why there was yeast & honey in the bread. I asked with the mindset that there was a reasonable explanation that I was missing. Maybe the rules changed or the rules were for different churches under the Vatican’s umbrella. But to my surprise, the president felt caught and nervous and had no answer for me other then it just tasted better. This was the beginning of dozens and dozens of discrepancies that resulted in dozens and dozens of questions. I had read that the faithful were supposed to give some sign of reverence just before receiving the Eucharist but the lines of people didn’t do anything that I noticed. No bow, no sign of the cross, no genuflecting. Nothing. So, I just made up one. As we approached the Eucharist, our family did the sign of the cross. It wasn’t until I went to a church across town where all of the parishioners genuflected before communion that I saw what I was looking for. I was so excited. I found something that others were doing and I could copy as a way of being in community with other Catholics AND follow the rules I had read in these long winded documents.

The questions and discrepancies were growing in number and even though I was only looking for answers and on a hunt to learn about my faith and practice it, it was resulting in me becoming a real nuisance for my parish family. They were sick of my questions and sick of trying to defend themselves to a young little girl. At the time, I was very hurt and confused. But as I look back, I can see that what I was reading about the Church was right and they were the ones that were wrong. I mean, what is so upsetting about my questions if they were all doing the right thing? In my innocent little mind, I actually thought that all of my elders had read the same documents that I had. If it was on my mom’s shelf, wasn’t it on their shelf too? NOPE! I see that now.

The clincher before I moved onto a different parish was a meeting I had gone to with the Parish Council. I was not on the council. I was only there to ask permission to bring in a guest speaker to the parish to talk about how to raise kids Catholic. The lady I was wanting to bring in was going to teach the parents about the family rosary and sitting up close in Mass, saying common prayers and wearing the Miraculous Medal…..aka, things I really wanted to learn since I didn’t know where to begin with my own kids. The parish council refused. They didn’t want anyone coming in to talk about the rosary or wearing the scapular or Miraculous Medal and they called those idea’s “pre-Vatican II”. Well, I just so happened to have brought my thousand plus page book of all the Vatican II documents with me. I politely said that I hadn’t read anything about this in the documents and if they could point me in that direction, I would love to see it. If everything I was asking is pre-Vatican II, that MUST mean that Vatican II brought up these subjects, right?  Believe it or not, I meant every word. I was not condescending in the least. I only want to do what the church teaches and if it said ANYWHERE that the rosary has lost its purpose or is unnecessary, I would have tossed them out that day. Everyone looked at me completely stunned but then some of the looks turned into anger. They flatly refused to allow anyone to come into the parish that spoke about the faith. I was heart-broken. What the heck kind of “Catholic” Church was I in? Were all the Catholic churches like this? I began feeling deeply alone. I felt young, naïve and alone.

I moved to my current parish, Coronation of Our Lady in Grandview, MO. The first thing I did is corner the priest and ask, “I don’t know much about my faith so I need to trust that you are in communion with the rules. Are you?” The poor man felt cornered too but I was desperate! I didn’t want to be nervous about what may or may not be true. He assured me that he was faithful to all the teachings. Whew! This still left me with a problem. There was still no adult faith formation to help me learn. I finished the Vatican II documents. What was next? I licked my finger, stuck it in the air and chose to study the BibleJ Wouldn’t you know, there were NO Bible studies in any of the Catholic churches in the entire diocese. I’m sure that would put smiles on the faces of all my Protestant friends. ARG! So, I went to my Protestant friends Baptist church in South Kansas City for their Bible Study. What a turning point in my life!! It was AMAZING but not for their Bible study. That was actually disappointing. Each time I went, the teacher, who was excited beyond words to have fresh, young, Catholic meat in his room, would only preach about one or two verses in the Bible. I wanted to understand it from front to back but that was not that kind of Bible study. Who would have thought that being fresh meat would be such a blessing. Everyone wanted to save me from the wicked Catholic Church. They were all fun and loving people and extremely engaging to be with. They had big hearts and clearly cared about me and my salvation. I made several friends and participated in their church functions for nearly a year, all while still attending Mass in my own church without fail. I was bombarded with questions about my faith. Some of the questions stumped me which forced me to find the answers. My first source was my mommy. I always called on her firstJ I also started to buy apologetics books to help me defend some of these questions. Now THAT is where I would recommend a person begin if you want to learn about the faith. Not Vatican II documents. LOL. God has a plan and reason for everything. He knew that the “pre-Vatican II” argument was going to come up in that meeting and He had prepared me. What a good God.

The Protestants were asking me questions and I was sharing my answers. They weren’t quite prepared for my questions thoughJ At one point, a group of Baptists came to my house to have a “talk” with me. That was exciting. I sure wish they would visit me now when I know so much more but, I won’t be greedy. I was happy to have them in my home and happy to hear all of their points. The ring leader of the group gave me a 3 page list of verses that refuted what the Catholic Church was teaching…..or so they thought. I kept that list, highlighted every one of those verses in my Bible and began to study and study and memorize. It was great. I was on fire and I couldn’t stop! One verse written to convince me that Mary wasn’t a virgin her entire life called Jesus’ brothers by name. But through my studies, a couple of those brothers had a completely different mother in just a few short chapters later. I ran back to share my news and all it did was upset them.  The people I was defending my faith and asking questions to were not interested and turned away. Why couldn’t they do what I did and find the answers?

Maybe the one who needed to learn about the faith was me.  

This was the beginning of my faith journey. It is still going on and will be until I’m incapacitated. Lol. I know this was long. You must love me bunches if you sat through this whole blog. Or maybe you are just up late and bored. Either way, thank you.

The good news is that since the institution of our wonderful new Bishop 6 years ago, there are Bible studies and adult faith formation classes everywhere. This has been a thorn in the side of so many “Catholics” who were happy being ignorant and believing what they wanted. Now, people are learning. The church I went to now has a priest who follows the faith, the bread is free of yeast & honey, the parishioners are leaving in herds to find another parish who practices the “I’m OK, you’re OK” preaching. Fortunately, as new, well-educated seminarians are being ordained in higher numbers, they will slowly be replacing the older pastors and the bad Catholics (sorry. That’s just the best name for them) will have nowhere else to go. We are well on our way to being a faithful diocese and it is EXCITING! The church is getting smaller but it is getting more faithful! This is an exciting time to be a Catholic!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and the best news……my Dad converted to the Catholic Faith just over a year agoJ

 

Sharing My Joy

I have debated about writing this blog. I am not much of a show-off. I am proud of my kids and like to show off their gifted personalities and qualities that exemplify true character. I don’t mind writing about them but what about material goods?  A friend of mine told me about a friend of hers (with no kids) that wrote a Christmas letter and about ¾ of it was about her new boots that she adored. That story made me chuckle. I don’t want this blog to look like that but I have a joy that I am just busting at the seams to share with everyone!! It’s about…….

Our New House!!

When you travel, do you look from side to side at all the houses and land and make comments about what is just right and appealing about them? Or is that just me??  My entire life, as our family travelled to Ohio or New York and back, my sister and I would stare at all the cute little towns, the vast green plains of crops and farm houses, mansions, cattle, hills and beautiful Fall tree’s. We pictured ourselves living in all of these places and imagined what our life would be like.

For the past 10 years, as my family kept getting larger and larger, this imagination became more of a real possibility. In a secular world where broken families is the new normal and Catholic bashing is just as accepted as bad Spelling, I had a great desire to move where we could be free to be who we want to be. We want to be unashamed, moral, principled and crazy Catholic’s. We want to lie on our roof and look at the clouds without the neighbors knocking at my door to tell me that the kids are on the roof again.  We want our neighbors to be nature….tree’s, squirrels, owl’s, geese, ponds, streams, creeks and critters that only boys could love (or shoot with a BB gun).

For 2 years, I have been seriously looking for the perfect property. I am so picky! This is what constituted the perfect property……

1.     The street was quiet enough for my kids to play in

2.     The land would be wooded in some parts and clear in others

3.     We would still have neighbors that can hear me scream if I needed help

4.     It would be within 10 minutes of a Catholic Church

5.     At least one creek

6.     Have at least 5 acres

7.     A hill  for sledding

Bonus* - A cemetery close by for Mary Kate to visitJ

I looked and looked and I was falling in despair. I was certain that the perfect house was not out there, would never come up for sale, be bought out from underneath us, be too far away or be too expensive.

For nearly that whole 2 years of searching, a family friend from Cub Scouts kept asking me to look at her house. She was sure that it was perfect for us. For some reason, since I had been to her house before, I just wasn’t interested. Finally, I decided that it couldn’t hurt to take another look at it. Roy was in Afghanistan so I invited my parents to tag along with me. The husband, Bob, showed me the entire house and all of the property. I fell in love. My mom was eyeballing me with this look that said, “Poker face! Poker face!”  She was a real estate agent in her former life and knew that if I looked like I couldn’t live without this house than there would leave little room for negotiating. Fortunately, the owners were not one bit interested in cleaning it up to put on the market just to lose 7% of the selling price and they were perfecting willing to wait for us to get our act together, get Roy back home from oversea’s and move in whenever we were ready. WHAT A DEAL!!!! Not only did I find the house and land of my dreams but the owners were ONLY going to sell to us. We had NO pressure of it being sold to anyone else and the owners were happy to just sit and wait!!! Could that be a better blessing?? In my opinion, that gift is unheard of.

In my excitement, I packed up everything that I didn’t think I would need in the next year and had an ongoing bon fire in my back yard to burn everything that was burnable in the house that I didn’t think a thrift store would want. I loaded up the back of the truck about 5 times full of trash and items that were too big for my bon fire or too ugly for the thrift store and waited patiently for the Grandview clean-up weekends to come along. I regrouted my kitchen floor (which is back to its original ugliness. But hey! I learned something new and am ready to do it again!). I painted and made repairs and cleaned like a machine. I was SO ready to put the house on the market when Roy came home for his 2 week R & R. Much to my dismay, there were too many internal problems that needed hired help to fix before we could sell our house. I was faced with the realization that we were going to have to move and own both houses at the same time. Thanks to Dave Ramsey and Roy’s deployment, we had saved a good chunk of money to be able to own them both for quite a while.

I know God has a plan for everything but I couldn’t figure out why I did all of this work around the house and packed up nearly everything when it turned out to be entirely too early. Even my 20 pound weight loss and burst of energy all seemed to fit into this serious packing and purging, fixing and repairing just perfectly. What could have been God’s plan??? Well, guess who became almost utterly useless when moving day finally arrived thanks to a first trimester pregnancy?! ME!! And guess who already packed up the house months before when I was at my peak of energy? ME! Oh, God is so good. He knows. He really knows!! I was lying on the floor and moaning my normal “Roy ruined my life for the 9^th time” whoa’s, while dozens of boxes flowed from the attic and onto the trailer to the new house. I had already done my job and didn’t even realize it.

So, here I am at 15 weeks of pregnancy, feeling much better and staring out my massive window that overlooks the Longview Lake creek that’s big enough to kayak on, our bunnies and chickens, tree’s with ropes to swing on and a sledding hill that beats all the sledding hills we have ever been on before. To my left is our stocked pond with geese and frogs.

So, how does this house compare to my list? This is my new perfect list….

1.    We are the last house on a dead end street. Not only is the street safe for the kids to play on but it’s empty of cars since we are the last house.

2.    The back of the house faces the street so NO ONE can see the front of the house and our 11+ acres of land. We can totally trash this place and no one would know.

3.    We have too many creeks to count

4.    Our land is surrounded by Army Corp of Engineer property. Not only will no one ever build on it but we are allowed to roam on it too.

5.    Our neighbor on the North is the Longview Lake walking/biking trail. There is a hiking trail that goes from our house to the trail.

6.    Our neighbor on the South has a Bobcat that he loves as much as Roy loves driving his truck in 12 inches of snow. He is cutting out even MORE 4-wheeling trails for us. Those 4-wheeling trails will also be a Stations of the Cross walking path sometime in the future.

7.    Our neighbor to the East is hundreds and hundreds of cleared out land (with more 4-wheeling trails that we are probably not allowed on….;)

 

8.    We have 2 ponds (at least one is stocked full of fish)

9.    The front porch has 3 sliding glass doors that all slide open. Thunderstorms in 65+ degree weather are breathtaking with those doors open.

10.Screened-in porch

11.A tree with the longest vine that is perfectly placed with no obstacles for the kids to swing as fast and as high as possible.

12.A laundry room upstairs and downstairs

13.The kids can ride their bikes throughout the spacious house and hardwood floors

14.The dining room as PLENTY of room. We could put three 12 person tables in there but, thankfully, we only need one.

15.A kitchen upstairs and downstairs

16.Custom built house. Not too big. Not too little. Not your cookie cutter house. You’ll get lost.

17.Not only is there a Catholic Church 3 minutes away (not 10), but its MY Church! We only moved 3 minutes away from our old houseJ

18.It’s an old house. We don’t have to worry about scrapes on the trims and doorways. They are already there. YES! This is a gift!

This house couldn’t be more perfect for us. There is a plot of empty land at the beginning of our street. If that becomes a new cemetery, I swear…….I swear…..I will let you all touch me so you can be healed. Lol. Really, I feel so blessed, it is unimaginable. I don’t deserve this. I would give it all up if God would bless me with another child….and guess what….:))) I have that too. I truly feel like I have it all. And I truly feel like many of you are wanting to punch your computer screen to get me to shut up. To all things, there is an end. This time in my life is fleeting. This feeling I have is momentary but this time is now and I want to share the joy while it is still here.

That's Bens first little fish that he caught in the pond. He tripped and fell on top of it as he ran to show me:)

 

 

 

 

Pampered Purity Dinner

For about 18 years, I have dreaming of this day;  the day that my daughter and her daddy would go out on an elegant date for her 14^th birthday. I kid you not, I have been shopping for purity rings and reading about “the talk” for that long. While I was relaxing after the birth of Mary Kate, over 18 years ago, I was reading “How to Teach Your Child About Sex” by Linda and Richard Eyre. The nurse was surprised that I was starting so early. I was still a new mom with my oldest only 12 months old. I wanted a head start. I needed a head start. The thought of teaching my kids about sex in a world that was already so sexualized was frightening. I wanted to do it right.

We give our kids the real talk about sex when they are eight years old. I know that sounds young but for several reasons, it made sense to us. You can read about our reasons in my blog about Theresa’s talk 2 years ago. For 6 years, Samantha has only heard about the beauty of sex. She has heard it repeatedly said that it foreshadows the union between her and God when she reaches her final destination with Him. She recognizes the parallels between the one flesh union with her spouse and the one flesh union she is already having with Christ in the Eucharist which coincidently occurs when she was 8 years old too. If she can understand this union with Christ at this age, she can certainly understand this union with marriage as well. It is very important for Roy and I to have the kids understand God’s gift the way He intended it to be understood and let it resonate for years before the ugliness rears its ugly head. By the time she learns about the dangers of pornography, the selfishness of masturbation and sodomy, the lustful eye and thoughts of the undisciplined mind, I wanted her to have clear view of the real beauty of sex before the Fall of Adam and Eve. Having a clear view of the goal will help her identify all of the counterfeits when the time comes.

She is 14 years old now and has been looking forward to this day for years. We have been building it up as if this was going to be the most important day of her life up until this point. She got all dressed up in a dress that we picked out on e-bay several months ago. I’m so glad it still fit! I made my arms sore with all of the hair curling but at least I got to sit down and not wear out my legs too. She dabbed some foundation on her already beautiful face and was ready to go. Roy took her to Capital Grille on the Plaza. I made sure that Roy would agree to hear about the specials so her eyes would glaze over in utter confusion. She must have the full experience! Her daddy put out every effort to treat her like the lady she is. He told her that she should be treated with nothing less than how her daddy would treat her. 

 

Roy likes to talk. I warned her about that before she left but she loves him too much to care. I can totally see her elbow on the table, palm on her chin, head tilted and gazing in his eyes all night as he goes on and on.

 

The night was successful as I knew it would be.

9 LIVES

On December 31^st, 2012, I was speeding to my friend’s house whose son had passed away that morning. I was already asking him for favors. I asked him for a baby. Every month I would ask Roy if he thinks God is finished blessing me with children. One time he said, “Maybe God has something he wants to do with you first.” Maybe so. Or, maybe He is finished. After all, I am 40 and my clock is ticking or has clicked its last tock.

Roy was right. I was busier than I had ever been in January. Had I been pregnant, I would have been useless with vomiting and crawling around like a college student’s hangover….(not that I would know ANYTHING about that…..just sayin’). On the weekend that the homeschoolers were having an extreme makeover done on Nolan’s family’s house, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I thought it would be a fitting time to see if Nolan’s prayers had been answered with a yes.

For my non-Catholic friends, Catholics do not believe in a separation between us and those in Heaven. We do not believe that they have become incapable of praying on our behalf the way our friends on Earth do. We do not believe that they cannot see or hear us anymore. They are our brothers and sister’s who are now close to God and can intercede for us the same way we ask our friends, family and neighbors to intercede for us in prayer. I asked Nolan to intercede.

I know that there are many people reading this and confused as hell as to why a mother of 8 is begging for more. The answer is simple. It’s because I’m the mother of 8. I have a front row seat into the life of a big family. I see the benefits that other people with “2 kids are all I can handle” cannot see. They see loss of money, buying food in bulk, crying, screaming, fighting, losing one kid unnoticed, keeping up with toddlers, 20 years of poopy diapers, etc. I better stop. I’m already talking myself out of wanting more.

Focus!! What I see is a constant party, always having a friend, always having something to do, never hearing “I’m bored”, no one sitting in front of the TV or video games, defending and loving each other, giggling, laughing, long talks with a teenager at night, lots of wrestling, always having a cuddle buddy in bed, making any small event into a party just by showing up, scaring off wanna be bad guys from messing with our house, breastfeeding, pictures, stares in the restaurant, having your own cheering section for a sibling’s ball game, people looking at me like a super hero, 6 kids whispering and giggling every night in one room,  etc. etc. I wish I had the time, energy and creativity to put into words the joys of having a large family. I am forever seeing the benefits. Parents of many kids seem to enjoy every pleasure of life so much more. A shower can feel as good for me as a shower for someone who has been stranded in the desert for a month. A night out with my husband can feel as good as a first date with your first major crush. Everything just feels better. So……

When someone asks me if I’m going to have any more kids, my answer is always the same.     

“I never want to stop.”

Extreme Makeover Part 4 - Mission Complete

"Do you think Jill will like her new kitchen?”

“Do you think they will love their new mattress?”

“………their new bathroom?”

“………their walls……bookshelves……table…….refrigerator……etc. etc. etc.”

I didn’t want to poo-poo on everyone’s enthusiasm so I will just do it here:/

 If Jill & Patrick were given 10 BILLION dollars, they would still be unhappy. Nolan’s death can really be a painful reminder on how valuable a human life is. I like what my Bible study teacher says, “Even Coco the signing bear is worthless next to the lame human being.” Oh, that is so true. Their son was priceless. Our kids, parents, the homeless man on the corner, the lame woman in the nursing home….they are all worth more than all the money in the world and all the material goods that this world can offer. Do you see why I am pro-life? Do you see why taking the life of a stranger in a vegetative state is something worth fighting against? This IS our business!!

Sunday, January 27^th, at 6:15pm, everyone was running around and finishing up last minute fix-up’s and repairs. A few women were clearing out all the evidence that anyone had been there. Tools were thrown in the garage, cleaning supplies thrown in tubs, cardboard and old blankets are pulled from the new rugs, cars and vans and trailers are pulled back into the street. Some of us were giggling at the anticipation of the Connors homecoming. Some were a little more edgy and panicky….not going to mention namesJ One of the teenage girls found a cardboard box and wrote “Welcome Home Connor Family!!” She used my flashlight app on my phone to illuminate the sign. People thought of everything. It was wonderful. This was an unforgettable experience.

6:30 arrives and the Connors pull in. Shouts everywhere…..”Their home! Their home!”  I am standing in the far corner of the living room with my camera and smiling.

Logan walks in first. He walks slowly around, looking and touching everything around him. He is too cute!! Jill walks in next and makes a bee line to me. ME!! I got a hug from Jill first thing! I wasn’t even expecting it. I am smiling from ear to ear now as the Connors are taken from one room to another. Of course they loved everything.

 

Although they have a new and spacious house, we really created more work for them. Now, she has some purging to do. Their basement is an organized chaos. One by one, friends and family will be visiting and helping Jill rummage through her belongings and give each book and toy a home. Hopefully, this process will last for a while….long enough for her to get through the initial grieving process where she can even begin to function.

They want their little boy back. Every kind gesture is another reminder of this tragedy. Every meal, gift card, dollar in the bank, sympathy card….they are all reminders that their son is gone. No, I did not think a new home would make Jill & Patrick happy. I did, however, believe that we could gift them a safe, healthy and comfortable place to grieve. This is what we accomplished. This is how to comfort the sorrow…to the extreme.