Samantha

12 years ago today, I walked into the kitchen to find Mary Kate making a mess on the kitchen floor with the play dough. As soon  as I cracked a smile when she looked up at me with her tiny face and blue eyes, my water broke. An instant feeling, physically, mentally, and spiritually flowed throughout my body of great delight and ecstasy. I was going to be a mom again today. I have never had my water break before or after this baby.  I so wish I would. I compare it to death and new life occurring instantly. By mid afternoon, I was holding my baby girl, Samantha. That was not the name of my choice but Roy has wanted a Samantha since he was a child. That was the last name he was allowed to give to any of our babies. lol.

I felt like she was my first girl. Mary Kate is absolutely a girl but she is her own unique individual. There are boys. There are girls. And then there is Mary Kate. With Samantha,  I got to experience the pathetic heart wrenching whimpers, the barrettes and pony tails, and everything pink.

She is my girl that wants to be perfect. She's not a perfectionist. She wants to be perfect as a child of her parents, as a student, as a stranger to others and as a child of God. What a blessing! When you look at her, you will see a body that radiates holiness. From a distance I think every boy will be able to see the dignity that he will have to protect in order to win her heart.  Sunsets are nice but Samantha is beautiful.

Have I over done it? Meet her and you will see that I haven't. Hopefully, this explanation is enough to understand how she treats her brothers and sisters and friends and family without me explaining it. Her future will be grand. She teaches me and the rest of the family every day with the virtues she practices. How I wish I could take credit for this! Believe me, I would take credit in a heartbeat if she were my only child but I have a couple children (BEN!) that discredits me quick. LOL. I must remember that some of our greatest saints were once very great sinners. They are both made of the same stuff. With Samantha being their example, I am not worried.

Samantha is such a Daddy's girl. She blushes when she talks to him on the phone. She tears up at the thought of losing him for another year when he gets the call for active duty half way around the world. Roy just can't say no to her. The feeling is mutual too. She may be spoiled but she has a deep love and appreciation  for all that she's given. Nearly everything she wants is somehow a gift for someone else. "Daddy, please let me go to the campout even though I'm coughing up a lung (I'm adlibbing a bit). I really want to help cook for the kids...and do the service project with the teens..." Or, "Daddy please buy me this cute fish for my aquarium. Josie said its her favorite fish and I want to surprise her." Or, "Mom, please let me spend the night at Emma's. She was sad today and needs me." She's either a generous and loving soul or really knows how to work the system. I prefer to think its the first.

As we were talking about her birthday, the subject came up about her 14th birthday. I told her that her Daddy is going to take her to a fancy restaurant. She is going to dress up and get her hair all dolled up. He is going to take her on a date and show her exactly how she is to be treated by a gentleman and where she will receive her purity ring, hand picked with alot of time and love by her father. I'll probably influence that decision a bit...alot. For now, its time to look forward to her last pre-teen year.

Happy birthday Samantha. Thank you for being you. I love you!

Lent

"Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them...When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you...When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you...When you fast, do not look gloomy so that you may appear to others to be fasting. Your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you." Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

I have several practicing and devout Catholics on my Facebook. Recently, I have seen a few status’ about their excitement about the Lent season approaching. I have to admit that I have not shared in their enthusiasm. Who gets excited about suffering? It got me thinking. After the 12 apostles were confirmed on Pentecost, they were no longer timid and scared of suffering and rejection. As a matter of fact, when they were stoned, tortured and kicked out from a town after spreading the Word of God, they were laughing and jumping for joy because they got to suffer in the name of Christ. It may sound odd at first but it actually makes sense. Bringing this closer to home, imagine a bully attacking your sister and then YOU jump in and fight the good fight all for the love of your sister. How will it make you feel after you had suffered your beating? How would it make your sister feel? Yes, its that kind of a feeling. It doesn’t have to be a feeling of triumph. That would be just a bonus. Its that feeling of love that grew between you and your sister. It’s the “You are my hero” feeling.

We can choose to suffer for God at any time of the year. Our family once made a spiritual bouquet for our friends that were in a car accident years ago. We made flowers out of construction paper and taped each one onto a straw. Then we wrote a sacrifice or prayer on each flower. They would say things like, “I will sleep on the floor with no pillow” or “I will pray 3 Divine Mercy Chaplets,” or “I will spend 1 hour in adoration,” or “I will only drink water for 2 days.” Each little bit of suffering can be a prayer if done with the love of God and our neighbor in mind. When we complain or brag about our suffering to others, it turns into a love for ourselves rather then for the good of the one we are praying for.  What my Catholic friends are so excited about is our beloved Catholic faith has given us a scheduled time to suffer in communion with one another. One friends status said, “…it is the time focus on something other than Recess Peanut Butter cups…” Oh, that is SO true. That feeling I get when I see chocolate should be channeled to something…or someone much, much greater. -He will take the "little death" in every act of self-denial and turn it into a shining testimony to his resurrection.-The Word Among Us. Daily Meditations for Lent 

I want to keep my blogs positive but I am still bothered, after a year, about one of my Protestant friends status. On Ash Wednesday, he posted all the indulgences he had eaten that day and a stab at the ridiculous Catholic custom of fasting. I don’t lump him in the category of what every non-Catholic believes but I do hope that he and others with like-minded thinking reads this blog. Catholics who choose to suffer do so, so they can focus on God and not the luxuries of life. Another example is the unintentional suffering…a terminal cancer, a loss of a child, loss of a job. Where to do people turn when they suffer naturally? God, of course. People fall to their knee’s in desperation. The one’s who choose to suffer do the same. I don’t know about you but I would so much rather choose what my suffering is going to be rather then taken by surprise. Are you hearing me God? Please, no surprises!  

The Christy’s have some customs that we like to do every so often. We are not consistent but that's ok. There will be more memories when we change things up. This year, we are coloring a Stations of the Cross book, tearing out the pages and taking advantage of our newly painted and naked walls. We will tape them up and do the Stations right in our own house. We normally go to church on Friday afternoons and participate in theirs or take a short trip to the Franciscan Center in Independence and hike their Stations of the Cross trail. We will have to find time for that. The kids love it. The kids made their own Journey through Lent poster. They color in a stepping stone each day until Easter. We will attend adoration and daily Mass more often, hopefully 3 days a week. I’m getting excited already! Lastly, we have a list on our refrigerator about what each one of us has given up. If we don’t write it down, the kids will be changing their mind based on what their current indulgence is. I know that feeling all too well. What are we giving up? NOT TELLING! It is between me and God and whoever visits and reads it off our refrigeratorJ

Journey through Lent

We made a crown of thorns out of flour, salt & water.

The kids add the "thorns" to represent our sins.

After every good deed that any of us do, we remove a "thorn" to ease Jesus' suffering

A Day in the Life of the Christy's Part 2

Tuesday morning begins with waking up by 7:30am and wandering around aimlessly trying to remind myself what I do in the morning. More specifically, what do I do on a TUESDAY morning. I remember! I run to Nick and tell him he's late for his breakdancing class! "Get up! Your late!..." If it gets too bad, I begin singing the worst rendition of the Star Spangled Banner to him that makes Rosanne Barr sound REAL good. It wakes up the whole family. I end up with a crowd of sleepy and giggling children as my audience. Even Nick can't stop laughing. Nick and Max are off to dance at Calvary Bible College.

I make breakfast, usually pancakes, french toast or oatmeal while instructing the older children to dress their "buddies" (We do the Duggar family buddy system). I make lunch for Ben and Josie, then promptly leave at 8:30 to drop off kids at their appropriate destinations. Stop #1, drop Theresa off at school. Stop #2, drop Ben and Josie off at Mothers Day Out.  




I'm so proud of Ben! I only got one behavior problem phone call all year. Come on Ben, you only have to make it a couple more months!

Ben is so excited about Mothers Day Out. Josie, not so much

  

Josie stands in front of her little cubbie that were consequently built by her older brother Nick just 2 years ago






                                                           

Stop #3, drop Mary Kate off at Grandview HS. Stop #4, pick up Max from dance. Stop #5, home by 10am. Samantha is about finished with Math while school is just beginning for Max. They do Math while I take care of my cute baby, clean and sneak out to pick up Mary Kate at 10:41 on the dot from the HS (she only takes one tutoring class). Mary Kate and I do Audiblox together for about 15 minutes. That is a reading program for kids with special needs. Then, she picks out a Saint DVD from our massive collection and watches that until Nick gets home.  If the other kids finish Math early, they work on independent subjects (Spelling, Latin, Handwriting, Language Arts) . We all do Geography together as soon as Nick comes home from dance. We work on one continent at a time accompanied with a cool video on the continent or one of its countries. I make lunch during the video. The kids eat at the island while I read the next Bible story. On to the next subjects! Writing, History, and read for 30 minutes. Nick and I try to squeeze an hour to ourselves to study his church History together. We usually end up talking about current events in his life, morals, God, or the other kids.  Its always a great time. We are definitely behind in Religion because of our goofing off.  By 2:00, Mrs. Hilboldt comes by with her lovely daughter, Emma. They take my Samantha down to her room and study Latin for 45-60 minutes. If they do well, Mrs. Hilboldt takes them to McDonalds where they study on their next class date.  Max needs extra help with Writing so he has me all to himself at this point. 



At this point, it gets tricky. These 3 kiddo's get dropped off for The King & I rehearsals at 5:00



At the same time, Nick drops off Mary Kate at Special Olympics practice

I pick up a nice man for my Theology of the Body class while Roy drops off the tiniest kids with his mom and sets up the TOB room at St. Matthews.  Roy, Nick and I take the TOB class from 7-8:30 at which point we split off again to grab the children at their various locations and taking the nice man home. I didn't mention how we ate dinner. I don't remember if or how we ate. I'm sure food got consumed but it was too fleeting to remember.

The night is not over! We still plan time for our "carefree timelessness" in the living room. We just sit quietly for about 15 minutes in the living room. The little kids color or read,  Nick is usually doing Math and Roy is letting the baby fall asleep on him. Me? I don't know what I do, I don't ever remember sitting quietly.  

This is my Tuesday! Next time someone asks what I do, I will refer them to my blog.





A Day in the Life of the Christy's Part 1

I get asked often about homeschooling. People want to know how I can teach High School and how I include the toddlers and baby. These are very good questions. I usually shrug with some dumbfounded look on my face when I'm asked. Thank God for blogs! I can sit quietly and think about it. What exactly do I do?

Let me start with the first day of the week, Sunday. After Mass, 1/2 my kids are hauled off to Taco Bell by Mary Kate's idol and Josie's Godmother, Mary Seura. My parents come over to play games after their Mass at Our Lady of Good Counsel. They take Mary Kate home with them to spend the next day at the Fransiscan Center volunteering with the Sisters. Later in the day  I try to find about 2 hours to sit down with the cutest and tiniest laptop ever (thanks Nana) and work on putting the kids homework in my Homeschool Tracker. It is a software program for homeschoolers to keep track of homework, grades, hours, test scores, transcripts, etc. I can't think of anything this program can not do.  I copy all of their assignments and put them in their personal report cover that carries all the previous assignments for the year. The little kids have one page per week. Nick has 3 pages per week that has detailed explanations about each assignment, which is why it is so long.

Sunday night, after quiet time, prayer time and bedtime, I sit at my computer and study the next 3 lessons of Algebra .  I then prepare a preschool curriculum which usually begins with me slapping myself for not ordering the much needed library books for the little kids. Now I have to come up with something else! Fear not, my house is full of preschool stuff. By about midnight, I'm ready for bed.

Monday morning, we leave the house at 8:30, drop off Theresa at school (she's in 2nd grade at the public school...another blog subject), then we are headed to another homeschool family's home who is next in the rotation of our 4 families. Class #1 Speech for High School, Spotlight on the Saints with the middle children (cute modern day play's based on a Saints virtue), and preschooler's with me and another mom, Carol. Class #2 is Algebra with the High School (ME!), Life Science with the middle ones and Science with the preschoolers. Class #3 is PE for everyone. The host of the home makes lunch for the moms.  Every 4 weeks, we watch the middle kids perform their play after lunch. This co-op is simple, small, cozy and fun. All the kids enjoy it. I feel like I'm with the finest families in the world, each with their own special gifts. The Defeo's have 9 children (8 girls and 1 boy...LOL...I know, right?) The Samsons have 7 children (the 7th due in 2 months). The Hilboldts have 8 children (6 grown. Its important to note that I was 5 years old when they got married. I'm sure Carol wants everyone to know this. LOL). Then there is me that only hits the average in number of children.  We go home and finish the school day with learning about the artist of the week, usually by video while open books of the artists famous paintings lie open on my bed.  Mary Kate has arrived back home by then and Theresa will arriving home by dinner. Yes, dinner! She has tutoring after school twice a week. She is going to be a genius when I start homeschooling her next year.  Currently, I am picking up Theresa from school and taking the 3 kids to their King & I rehearsals at Red Bridge Bible Church. That lasts throughout the evening. School of Religion and Boy Scouts are put on the back burner until this is finished in a couple weeks. They are having SO much fun. Roy and Nick play volleyball at the Shawnee Mission Civic Center and I am listening to small crashes, a few screams and shooing little people off my lap while I type this. 

The preschoolers doing their Nativity play. That 45 seconds said it all.

This is the practical life of our first 2 days. Add in some laughing and smooching and you just lived 2 days of my amazing and blessed life.  Honestly, I don't know why people care. I just know that I'm asked frequently about what I do and how I have time. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to pick up all the important documents the toddlers climbed up the bookshelves to dump on the floor for no reason. Then  I have a load of diapers to wash (useless fact...I can complete this task in 34 seconds; the amount of time it takes me to hold my breath). And maybe, while I clean relentlessly, I might find the phone thats been off the hook for hours. Until Part 2.....

Cub Scouts

Well, its over. We graduated my Webelos den to Boy Scouts on Saturday. I spent the last couple weeks thinking about what I wanted to say in my good-bye speech. Every time I thought about it, I would tear up. The last 4 and a half years with these boys have been wonderful. I have so many memories. Most of them involved calming them down from all their excitement. That is what I loved most about these boys. They all seemed so happy to be with me and each other. It didn't matter what we were doing, they were happy to be there. We could be scooping up piles of poop and they would be happy to do it just because they were together. That is what I will miss the most. Geez! I'm tearing up again!!

Sam Hoffman

 The red head! He loves to fish and do anything outdoors. He is an only child but was supplemented with land and nature and all the animals Mom would bring home from work. He studied acting as his extra-curricular activity. He was such a joy to have in the den meetings.

Nicholas Mott

He comes from a home of little people. LOL. They are such a cute family.  He loves to read and is always the first to volunteer when reading was involved. If I were faced with something important that needed to be done, I went to him first because I knew he would do a good job. 

Jacob Mincey

His mind seemed to be on other things a lot. This is an adorable feature. I could see his little mind in a complete other world. When others thought he was being rude, I could clearly see that his mind was just occupied. I loved being able to match my den meetings with his active imagination.

Davey Merchant

He came to us just a couple years ago from Oklahoma. He is full of stories, most of them disgusting. Haha. We loved to hear them though. He is great at building little, and sometimes not-so-little, projects. One project was a cub mobile! One day, he will teach my kids how to turn a real live cow into dinner on the kitchen table...one of his other gifts:) He chased me with a dead mouse once and I haven't  forgiven him yet.

Joshua Valdez

 Ahhh. My most dedicated scout. He would come early and stay late to all the den meetings. And his sister, Alicia, was close behind. She comes in and grabs whatever baby I had just had.  Joshua was so happy to be here even if my 4 year old beat him up. He always walked in my front door with the same smile. I'm going to miss that smile.

Austin Vaughn

 The studious scout. This is the scout that listened and paid attention and truly did his best with every project or assignment he was given. If I asked him to write a few words about something, he wrote 2 pages. If I asked him to draw me the layers of a forest, I would get all the creatures, and details that made it come alive.

Max Christy

This is the boy that had to take a back seat to everyone else. Sometimes he would miss the back seat altogether when his parents would completely forget to take him to a Pack Meeting or den meeting. He would sit at home with his uniform on, wondering where we went. Whenever I, the awards chairman, was one award short, I would pull it off his uniform. If the den leader, me, was one project short, he would get left out. Thank goodness he has such a good sense of humor.

These are my scouts. I love them all. I love their aggressiveness, their laughter, their disgusting jokes, their choke holds (on each other, not me), their manners when guests were around and their dedication to living the scout oath and law. I miss them so much. Why did God have to make time so fleeting? I hope they remember me when they are old with kids of their own. As their childhood memories fade, I pray they will all have fond memories of their den mother, Mrs. Christy. I love you boys!

Farmville

Sounds like I'm running out of things to blog about doesn't it. No, no. Farmville is actually just an example of a bigger subject that I want to blog about today. It is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I really enjoy playing Farmville. There are two big reasons for this.  #1 I can play with my friends and family and, in turn, builds up our relationship even more. That is the purpose of playing a game around the kitchen table right? It bonds the family closer. Is it a waste of time to play Monopoly with the family? I can hear your head rattling so that must be a "no". Then, neither is playing Farmville. The only difference is that I can play with my Mom, the kids, my niece and nephew and friends continuously whenever I am able. I'm not bound to a certain time and place. Kids can interrupt me and it is ok.  I can choose to play a lot or a little or even skipping a few days without bothering anyone (except Mom).  The game is designed to play with one another through gifting and helping others. It does not take away from the gifting and helping in real life. I still make a real meal for my friend who has just has a baby instead of just offering her a virtual fruitcake for her farm:)  And I will always drop what I'm doing to sit at the table to play a game with the family...not a puzzle though. Thats Dad's thing.  

#2 It is a stress reliever. It is simple, enjoyable, calming and a small piece of my life that I can have control over. (Except when the 3 year old sells my stuff!!!! I keep setting her on the corner when she sells my swimming pool, train, mansion, etc. but she keeps running back home. LOL. I'm only partially joking).  I am not one that is under stress but I think there is a reason for this and no, its not drugs:) All of us need to have an avenue to calm ourselves when life gets a little busy. For some that could be a power nap  or scrapbooking, writing in a journal or reading.  Ice cream, jogging, etc. You get the idea.  I like to do a little of each but Farmville is on the top of my list. The more upset I get, the more farming  I do.  If there is anyone reading this who does not have a meaningless relaxer to bring yourself back down to Earth, I hope you will consider acquiring one soon.  Farmville is mine:)

I'm Not Feelin' It

The first few years of our marriage  I asked my husband, Roy,  if he would take the reigns as the spiritual head of our household. I'm old fashion and believe that husbands and fathers should be the head of the household.  I asked him to have talks with the kids (mainly just the oldest at the time) about God and Faith. I asked if he would take the RCIA classes and join my Catholic Faith.  His objections were simple and I think they reflect the objections a lot of men have. "I'm not qualified" and, "I'm not feeling it." I completely understand that, especially the "I'm not qualified" excuse. A few years back, our Cub Scout pack was in need of a good leader. Roy did not want to take on the position because he was "unqualified" but he did it anyway because he had the energy, discipline, attitude and drive. I remember sitting on the committee when a couple "seasoned" scouters were talking about the pancakes they were going to eat on a camp out. Roy interjected and offered to buy the pancake mix at the store. The 2 men snickered because all qualified scouters know that you make everything from scratch. My body started to heat up as I saw Roys head bow down in embarrassment. I was ready to jump onto the table and throw myself on those men who snickered. It was going to be just like what you see in the movies...the chairs go flying, some strangling, heads knocking together, people pulling me off... That would make a good story but I stayed put. Roys head rose up and he continued taking part in the conversation.  My body temperature eventually went down and his scouting career has taken off. We will be attending a dinner where he will receive the District Award of Merit. It is well deserved.

 When Roy began teaching Theology of the Body for Teens, he felt like he was the most unqualified person out there. Thanks to the desperation of having a 15 year old in dire need of this class with no one to teach it, he made the leap. On his first day of class, he was nervous, his eyes were tearing up, he was anxious and jumpy and just down right scared to death. It is true that he would be considered "unqualified" but he moved forward and learned right along side the kids. His assistant, the beautiful young Jackie Wild, was a cradle Catholic who has spent at least 20 years learning more and more about her Faith. I admire my husband for working side by side with someone a normal "unqualified" person would be intimidated by. Lucky for him, Jackie is a humble and forgiving assistant:)

I really wanted to write this blog because I know that some of you reading this might have a husband sitting at home while you and the kids go to church. Or you have a husband that is just waiting to have that loving feeling for God before he acts on it. Or he is waiting around to be "qualified".  This is one of those situations where decisions are made in spite of what and how we are feeling. One thing I love about my Faith is that I can and want to be obedient whether I understand it or not because I trust my faith. My Catholic Faith is my foundation and I trust it more then I trust the foundation of my home that I entrust my life and my kids life to every day and night. The understanding will come later, either in this life or the next. For now, if I remain obedient, I will reap what I sow and it will be good. My darling husband is just like that. He tells himself that he's going to do the right thing whether he's feeling it or not. He can pray that God will gift him with the feelings to blast him forward with great zeal. If your husband is waiting for some magic wand to put these feelings in him before he acts, he will be waiting longer then it takes for his kids to grow up and out. We are given free will so we can freely love him. Love is an action and a choice. We need to be open and act. If he isn't "feeling it", encourage him to go someplace where he CAN feel it....adoration, Familia, a Bible Study, a training class for TOB, revivals during Lent, etc.

I have been blessed with a very humble man. This is not the opposite of pride. It is the fulfillment of it.  He is what I call a "REAL" man. A man that protects, provides and cares for his family while falling to his knee's as a weak sinner in the presence of our Lord. He has inspired me to take the leap of faith too. Pardon my constant repitition of the TOB class for adults that I am facilitating but it is important to note that this is the first time that I've ever stuck my neck out so far. I too am nervous and unqualified. I am going for it anyway! Why? For two reasons #1 TOB is the next sexual revolution and #2 My husband has inspired me to do so.

Bottom line... a good, humble, loving and faithful  husband of pride and values can empower the entire family. And I have it. I love you Roy. I am very blessed to have you.