Happy Birthday Max

In January, 2000, I was driving home from daily Mass with my 6, 5 and 10 month old baby. I felt a very familiar, yet unique, feeling come over me. I pulled over, threw up all over the side of the road, looked up and said, "Oh no. Not this. Please God. My baby is only 10 months old!" I turned my van around and bought an overpriced pregnancy test at the local drug store. Yep. Max was on his way. He had been on his way for several weeks already. It is difficult to explain the mixed emotions that can go on simultaneously with a "surprise" baby ....scared, joy, worry, ecstatic, nervous, giddy. Only a woman can understand. Well, a menstruating woman, anyway. 

On September 21st, 2000, on his exact due date, he arrived! He was a spittin' image of his blond headed, blue eyed sister. Max loves it when I tell the story of his hospital stay. He was a screamer. I don't know if there was another mother who tried to return their baby as hard as I did. I pressed that red button over and over to get the nurses to take him away. Minutes later, a sweaty and disgruntled nurse would wheel my screaming baby back into the room. There was nothing I could do! I had to leave the hospital with this baby! Max did not have colic. He simply had the temperament of a child that screamed when he did not get exactly what he wanted. While Nick would hit, slap and beat up anyone to get what he wanted (he wouldn't hurt a fly now), Max just screamed for it. I'm not sure which is better. I was blessed with a boy that was given both of these character traits in Ben....groan....but God has blessed me abundantly with my wonderful mellow Matthew.  I still can not believe that all of these kids came out of the same womb. Will I ever have two kids that are anything alike? Ever? It is humbling to say the least.  Do you want to know my parenting tip on anything?? I will give you 8 different answers!

God has a plan for all of these different personalities. I have watched my little Max grow into a fine, generous, happy and sensitive boy. All of his screaming he did as a baby was just the signs of a boy who would be a sensitive soul. He looks around for ways to care about people. He is the one who prowls the van for food whenever we see a homeless person on the side of the road. He is the one who made sandwiches and water and had me drive around town to look for them. Max looks out the window quietly for a while, trying to come up with ways to help the weak and the helpless and then shares all of his idea's with me. After Max won first place in the Pinewood Derby, he said, "Winning once is enough. I don't want to win anymore. I like to see how happy other people are when they win." Oh, to be the mother of Max Christy! What did I ever do to deserve such a gift in him?

Just when you think there could not be a better gift in such a young man, there is more! Max is the one who makes the whole world laugh, including himself. When Max laughs, he laughs with his whole body. Every molecule of his being is laughing and wriggling about too. This house would be bare and empty and quiet if he were not here. He is what keeps this family hoppin' and happy.

I don't have any concrete, scientific proof but I am quite sure that God has a very special and unique plan for all His "surprise" babies. I can not wait to see God's plan for Max's life unfold year by year. This has been and will continue to be very exciting!!

Thank you God for my screaming baby.

Happy Birthday Max.

Festival of Fun

Our family has been going to the Festival of Fun that is held at our parish every year. We look forward to it and will stop at nothing to make sure we attend, even if it falls on my sisters birthday. Sorry sis.

After 13 years of these festivals, a pattern begins to develop. It is too bad that I had to learn so many things the hard way....

~bring more money than you think you need

~bring big bags to carry everything

~stop ordering the whole lunch plate (I can ever eat it all)

~if your patient, you can get all the concession items 1/2 off at the close of the day.

~pick all the Dr. Peppers first. They go too fast.

~volunteer to work the last hour of the day so you can play and be worn out before your shift. Plus, Mom's usually out of money by then.

~Go straight to the prize booth first and pick the prizes you want to win coupons for.

~If you win BINGO twice in a row, leave. You get dirty looks if you stay:)

~Always act like you've been searching for your child everywhere when you see someone trying to bring him back for you. Or just hide if they haven't made eye contact with you yet.

I love this festival because, not only do the kids play all the games but they know everybody and everybody knows us. This event makes me feel more like I'm part of a family than any other event at our church. I can always count on the same familiar faces working in the kitchen and behind the raffle table. I was a little sad when the nice man, Keith White, was not working the moon walk. It has been a few years since his passing but that was HIS job. Without fail....sigh. When one door shuts, another one opens! For the first time in my history with Coronation of Our Lady, our priest was there! The entire time!! Playing games!!! And cleaning up!!!! Wow. I now have a Spiritual Father to go with my spiritual family!!!!!  

What I LOVE about this day more than anything is that there is no standing around, wandering what to do next. The kids know. This is old hat to them. They know which games produce the most tickets and which adults are the most generous with prizes;)

Nick - He makes a bee line for the ring toss over the bottles of pop and wins every Dr. Pepper he can. He fills up my table until I'm too embarrassed to sit there anymore.

Samantha - She has picked out her prize...a suitcase/backpack combo. 50 coupons. She's off, bringing me coupons every few minutes to add to the collection that the little kids are handing me to keep "safe".

Mary Kate - She eats...

Max - My generous and loving boy picks prizes that he thinks other people would like. He's picked a gold and diamond decorated, glass turtle. He wins it for his 17 year old crush, Christi. Awwww....

Theresa - A bit on the greedy side. She wants her own bag, her own coupons, her own prizes and her own drink that no one has put their cooties on.

Ben - I try not to watch what he does. He's the one I hide from when nice old people come looking for me.

Josie - The cutest red headed pig tails in the whole church. Not a minute went by when she didn't have a sucker in her mouth and tickets in her hand.

My parents saved the day. I had just spent my last dollar. LOL.

Boys and toilets. I don't get it.

This will keep my little Ben out of trouble. Right? Actually, this is what he loves to do. He wants to just be in charge of something and he is always good at it. Good job Ben. Thanks for my coupon and prize.

Of course, right on cue, our table was the dead last one to get cleared off, cleaned and put away. We spend every minute we can at the festival. I am proud of my little church and my little church family. We are loved there and we love them.

Bedtime

I have been having many conversations with people about Roy's deployment. Within each conversation, I add that this time should be a little easier on me because I have older kids now and bedtime will not be so torturous on everyone. I have awful memories of bedtime in 2003-04 when Roy went to Kuwait and I was home with 5 kids ages, 9,8,4,2,and 6 weeks. With Mary Kate having special needs, she was around the age 3 category. That is 4 itty bitty kids and Nick. Bedtime was so terrible that I started to dread the evening starting when my eyes opened in the morning. Quite honestly, those stressful, painful evenings consume most of my memories about that deployment.

Have times got any better? After all, I still have 5 kids under 10 years old. Well, the answer is yes. Thank God! For many years, even though each child has their own bed, they all want to sleep together. Every night, 7 kids cram into one room and scatter themselves wherever they will fit.  I counted, and we have 12 real beds...with mattresses! Only 4 of them get used, including my big ol' king size monstrous bed (that I purchased a week after Roy came home from Kuwait because I couldn't get used to sharing the bed when he got back). Now I can make a snow angel in the bed and never touch him! Yes! I am only keeping our beds for decoration and to have something to show DFS if they were ever to question us. 7 of the beds will be made up beautifully, like my little angels make them every morning. Ha!

The kids have a bedtime of 8:00 with the hopes that I will hear the beautiful sound of only the clock ticking or my computer fan running by 9:30. I want the kids to have fond memories of their bedtimes together. I want to hear giggles and rustling about. Tonight, Theresa came out and made 6 cups of ice water and put them on a tray to bring back to the room. Watching her face as she put each cup on the tray brought me to think...this must be like a slumber party every night. Do the kids realize what they have in each other?  Maybe not. They probably believe that a party every night is how everyone ends their day.

I am happy to say that those dreadful memories of bedtime years ago are my memories only. My kids do not remember. Their only bedtime memories will be fond ones. Memories that bonded them together forever.

I got yelled at for flashing the camera light in their eyes. It was for the good of the blog. Kids just don't understand!

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today's Daily Mass Gospel Reading

3	And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?"
4	He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5	and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6	So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
7	They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
8	He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9	And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unlawfully, and marries another, commits adultery."
10	The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry."
11	But he said to them, "Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
12	For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it."

This reading is what really turns people off from the Catholic Church. This has to be one of the most difficult teachings of the church. To sum it up Katy Christy style, once you are in the covenant of marriage, you are married forever. Does this include adultery? Yes. Does this include abuse? Yes. It is difficult to hear but not so difficult to believe once you understand what a covenant really is.

I will be taking a group of teenagers through a journey through the narrative History of the Bible this school year. Some may believe that the Old Testament and New Testament are two very different stories with two very different "God's". This is not so! This is one very beautiful story of our salvation History that guides us through one covenant after another. What will be made very clear is that these covenants will be violated repeatedly. Repeatedly is an understatement. God's people will break every commandment over and over again but they will NEVER be able to break the covenant. Never. This is what marriage is too. UNLESS, it is unlawful. "Unlawful" means that a covenant was never made in the first place. One of the 4 key elements of the FTFF (Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful) was missing. If this is NOT the case, then you are married till death due you part. Even if your spouse grows horns, you can separate to protect yourself and the kids but she is still your wife and he is still your husband.

A very dear friend was walked out on by her husband of nearly 20 years. He simply did not love her any more. She was devastated. She was left home with one teenage boy and an 8 year old boy. After some time passed, I asked her if she was going to pursue an annulment. She said, "No, I know there was a covenant." She is going to remain faithful to him while he remarries and enjoys his new life. Her purgatory time will most certainly be cut short. She is a fine example of what living out the marital covenant really means.

My other example would be my parents. On Aug. 9th, 1971, a Monday afternoon, my parents, Dr. Richard Medary and Geraldine Fackelman made their wedding vows to each other.   Neither one of them knew what their future would hold or they probably would have had 2nd thoughts;) Ok, they would have both ended up thousands of miles apart! Marriage is tough! They were great examples of that too! Not for a glimmer of a moment did I ever suspect  they would divorce and move on. Their example alone told me that this was forever. Good times and bad times.

They celebrated their 40th anniversary. I'm sure they could have sat in for Frank and Marie Barone and been just as funny in their own quirky way. My kids love to just watch them talk to each other. The kids laugh and I am usually hiding my face if people are around which seems to make the kids laugh harder. They have a great sense of humor about their daily lives with each other. They genuinely care for one another. I love to watch or hear about how Dad takes care of Mom by cooking for her,  slapping unhealthy food out of her hand and searches for her when he suspects she's fled for another smoke break. She's hard to catch. Mom is giving him a good work out. If either one would have escaped from the marriage years ago, they would have missed out on these experiences;)

My parents give me hope for my future with Roy. When I think about what we will be like when he's 80 and I'm still a ripe 68;) I know we will be just fine thanks to my parents example of how to live out your covenant even when the horns grow and recede....and grow...and recede...



This says it all. This is the marriage covenant in action. I love you Mom & Dad



The Days are Numbered

My husband is days away from leaving for an entire year in Afghanistan. I love him so much. He is my best friend. He is a man with a magic touch (as I like to call it). Whenever something breaks around here, Roy comes along and waves his hands around and everything comes together, tighter and more solid than before. I have been called in Ephesians 5 to be submissive to him. I am under (sub) the "mission" of my spouse. What his is mission?  To love and serve me. Please, don't let me stand in your way, dear husband. I will be happy to be submissive till death do us part.

In these past few weeks, I have gotten the most heartfelt comments from people...strangers even. Grown men, with a tear in his eye, will come up to me with their fist over their heart and say, "Please thank your husband for me."  Friends and family will stop me with pity and compassion and offer to help me during Roy's deployment. My elderly neighbor, who can barely walk, pleaded for me to call her if I need any of my children watched for any reason. Oh, how I want to boldly say, "It is I who should be serving you!"

If you have seen me in the past few weeks, you should have seen peace and joy. I have never felt the presence of God more. Even when I am alone, I feel like a puppy whose owner just came home. God is all around me. He is most certainly in the company that I keep but He is also in all the strangers I meet and even in the emptiness of my home and in my car. I feel Him so close that I get the giggles and want to clap like Tinker Bell. God has even gifted me with a new, God loving, future Saint of the Church priest. God is so good to me. He is so much better than I deserve.

So, am I walking around with the poor pitiful me tone?...Home AAAALL ALONE with 8 minor children and no husband? I only pull that out when I HAVE to...like when I have to take my car into the mechanic and REALLY don't want to be charged an arm and leg. You know, the same price Roy used to charge his unsuspecting customers.  I will not be feeling sorry for myself. I will have my head held high and my sleeves rolled up. There is something a little exciting about taking on more responsibility around here. Truth be told...Roy is and enabler! His hard work kept me on the lazy side. The side that got to "fold laundry" for hours while watching the greatest tv show ever created, "Murder She Wrote". Netflix will be there next year. It will be ok. My withdraw and heavy breathing in a bag will be short lived.

It is true, not all my moments will be so full of joy. I found myself numb and still and tearful on my laundry room floor yesterday. Last night, Nick's emotions caught up with him as he listened to a young man with special needs read his report on a Eucharistic Miracle. He silently sniffed, wiped away one tear at a time and stared out his window for the 45 minutes it took to get home. Roy's days are numbered and we are both feeling it. We are both feeling inspired and fearful at the same time. We do not know what emotion we will have an hour from now. But we do know that we are well taken care of. We are well loved. But mostly, we have a communion of believers praying for us. We will be fine. Come What May.  

God above me

God below me

God to my right

God to my left

 - St. Francis of Assisi

 I am an energetic puppy with my Master all around me.

Vocation Day's

Roy and I were out to dinner with friends of ours a few years back. They asked me about homeschooling and why I chose to take that route. Within my litany of reasons, discerning their vocation was up there on the list. It is no surprise that the Catholic Church has a shortage of priests. I believe that one of the reasons for this is that parents are not providing opportunities for their children to discern their vocation. Truth be told, I never "discerned" the vocation to married life. The possibility of being a nun was so distant. Sooo distant. My only childhood memory of a Sister was the mean, little one that grabbed everyone by the ear when it was their turn for their hearing test. I'm so glad that was her only job. It was not the greatest memory.  I wanted...I mean...I needed to introduce my kids to their real life. They are learning how the priest and Religious live, who they are, the stories of their calling, their jobs, feelings, prayer life, community service, daily activities, and what it truly means to be a Priest, Brother, Monk or Sister.

I believe that the vocation of marriage is the norm. My kids have many fine examples of good marriages in their lives. It is not much of a stretch to bring their attention to this vocation. The vocation of the Priesthood and Religious life, however, takes a little more work..., a little more planning.  After all, if my kids really had an equal view of both of these vocations, they will have attended as many vows and ordinations as they have weddings. Correct? Something to think about. I think I can let myself off the hook on this one since "few are called but many are chosen" Mt 22:14.  There will be more weddings then vows or ordinations which makes this task of equality in need of some creativity.

Fransiscan Spirit Camp is a camp for 6-8th grade girls once a year in June. They spend the day playing with the Sisters.  It is not boring daily tasks, its playtime with apparently, much water usage. Samantha loves to go their every year.

Mary Kate volunteers every Monday at the warehouse at the Fransiscan Center. She helps the Sisters sort clothes and bag them up for the missions overseas. Mary Kate is perfect for the annoying, time consuming tasks that the normal person would despise. Her current job is to check every single pen and marker to make sure it works before it can be bagged up. Why waste shipping $$ on bad markers? She loves this job.

Every other year, my good homeschool friend, Tina Dotson, puts together an enormous Vocation Day for kids K-12. She has dozens of priests and Religious come out and do crafts, play and talk to the kids about every question they (and the rest of us) have about their job. If I can be pried away from the vendors, I can listen in on the talks for the parents on how to bring opportunities to my kids to pray and discern their own vocation.

Nick has been going to Companion Camp at Conception Seminary for 7 years in a row. This is a weekend camp for boys 6-8th grade to play and pray with the seminarians. What a gift. Nick has made many sacrifices to attend, including giving up his 10-day Boy Scout camp this year. It is just that important to him. He has been on staff since he was a Freshman.  So many of his homeschool friends go on to the Seminary, so this gives him another chance to visit. 



Mary Kate, Samantha and Theresa visit the Servants of Mary convent every other month. The Sisters have a detailed 3 hour plan for several girls that always include prayer and fun. We have not been able to attend the precious times that one of their novitiates takes her vows and receives her wedding ring. One day. One day, I SO look forward to that beautiful day.

Mary Kate and Samantha go to The Little Sisters of the Poor once a month to spend 5 hours helping the Sisters with their patients, chores and activities. They are called the Hospitality Club. Fitting name as they learn and practice their hospitality.

Lastly, having a personal relationship with the priest and Religious in our own parish is a MUST. I say that but don't always follow my own advice. From a distance, we look like a well-mannered, big, happy family. I don't want to ruin that by getting too close. LOL. I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and make it happen. Fr. Hansen is scheduled for our family dinner on July 21st. Somehow, we need to make this zoo look like a domestic church and don't have much time to do it! Keep us in your prayers!

Fr. Hansen's 2nd day on the job and playing softball with the youth group in 100+ degree's. What a man!

Artificial Birth Control - No tomato throwing, please!

As a Catholc, not only have I been asked thousands of questions about my faith, I have also been the one asking questions. Why do we believe this... Why do we believe that.  I can't imagine a person out there that knows everything that has been revealed to us so far. I want to spend the rest of my life learning about my faith and all of its beauty. There is one moral subject in the Catholic church that I have never questioned. Oddly enough, it happens to be the most controversial. It is about the use of artificial contraception.  I have some theories as to why I never questioned their usage. Let me go through a couple of them with you.

#1 My mom had perfect timing. When I started menstruating as a young teen, she explained to me exactly what was going on. She explained about my body preparing for the egg, the signs I will see to know it is preparing itself, the release of the egg and its short-lived life, and the release of all this preparation as a result of no conception. It was a beautiful and perfect story. God had designed a woman's body just perfect and, pardon the cliché.... like clockwork. He designed it in a way that makes all of us active participants with God in the building of our families. The reason I say that my mom had perfect timing is because I didn't learn about  the Pill, condoms, IUD's, etc. until I had a good couple years of getting to know my own body and its cycle. I remember thinking, "Why would someone need any of this stuff if God already gave us the information about when we were fertile and when we weren't?" I never felt like the sharpest knife in the drawer ;) so I thought everyone knew how babies were made. All these years and hearing , "Don't you know what causes that?", it was really them that didn't know. If they really knew how babies were made, they wouldn't need to be on birth control. The Pill in particular can be so deceptive. As I googled around about the Pill, I saw "Women can now have control of their reproductive cycle..." How deceiving! These women are not going to have one bit of control of their cycle now. It will be out of their hands and the Pill will be doing all the work. Which brings up the next subject. .

Just what does this "Pill" do for us? Before I get into the diseases, infertility and all of the cancers women are now more inclined to contract,  let me tell you what the Pill was originally designed to do. The Pill was supposed to stop ovulation from occurring. After some time and too many women getting pregnant, another feature was added to the Pill. A much more devastating feature.  Now, a synthetic hormone was added to the  Pill which will thin out the inner lining of the uterus from the 5-13mm it is to about 1mm so if fertilization DOES occur, the baby will slip right through and no one will be the wiser. More unborn babies will die in America then there are people living in it by 2003.(1)





  Lovely right? Hence, this is one of many reasons that Blessed John Paul II called our culture the culture of death.  Here are a litany of other things the Pill can give us...

                * increased risk of breast cancer by 40%

                *infertility is increased by 70% if the Pill is used for 4 or more years

                *High blood pressure

                *blood clots

                *stroke

                *Heart attack

                *depression

                *weight gain

                *migraines

                *increased sugar level in diabetics

                *increased risk of disabilities to the baby if conceived while on the Pill

                * 15 times more likely to develop cervical cancer

                * The Pill allows cancer causing agents to have access to your body because it lowers your           immune system, causing you to become sick easier and contract an STD easier as well

#2  I had grown up believing that God was the giver and taker of life. It is pretty simple. I don't think that needs any follow-up information. It was just a matter of putting 2 and 2 together.   "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you" Jeremiah 1:5. God gives us life. I have heard from some of my fellow cafeteria Catholics, "If God really wants you to have a child, don't you think He will give you one?" (This question is in defense of our "NO" to God via artificial birth control.) In which my reply is, "God can do anything of course. But our free will can say 'no' to Him which is what we do when we contracept. God does not want us to sin but we do it anyway.  So, yes, we are perfectly able to say 'no' to God, even in area's as important as when life should begin."

A couple is incapable of truly giving themselves completely to one another when contraception is used. They are saying, "I give everything I have to you, except my fertility." This is not what Jesus did when He gave His life for His bride. He did not say, "Go ahead and nail my hands to the cross, but please not my feet." He gave His entire body to His church totally, faithfully, freely AND fruitfully. If we are to imitate Him, we must give ourselves to our spouse totally, faithfully, freely and fruitfully too.

So, let me repeat my question. Why are so many women on birth control if we are given the means to control our cycle naturally?  Reason #1. The most common problem that I hear about is from the women who do not have normal cycles. They are, in fact, painful, and not regular. My 16 year old daughter started menstruating when she turned 14. In that short time, she has had 2 cycles that lasted between 30-45 days with bouts of surprises in between. Our first stop was the Gynecologist at Childrens Mercy. Her solution was to put her on birth control. Her exact words were, "She's getting to that age where it would serve 2 purposes." Now, let me tell you again, I am not the sharpest knife and I do not know what is best for a woman in this position. All I know is that Mary Kate can not live like this and I would do whatever it takes to regulate her and take this ugly and painful fact of life away from her which, YES, includes putting her on the Pill. Being on the Pill for medical reasons is not a sin. Before I decided to do that, I went to a Pro-Life Catholic doctor. There are other alternatives! She takes medication 10 days a month to regulate her cycle and it has worked like a charm. We are praying that she can be off of them in 3 months and be regular naturally. Go figure. Of course, this will not work for everyone but I was able to come up with an answer to others responses when they bring up this subject. The answer is, ask for other alternatives! You will get a good and honest answer if you see a pro-life Catholic doctor;) ....even if your not Catholic (I didn't have to check that Catholic box on the paperwork. lol). You may be surprised to find out that there are really other alternatives that will not disrupt your fertility. Also, the Pill does not fix any fertility problems. It only masks the effects. Have you ever heard of any woman who has taken the Pill for a time and then got off because she was now cured? The pains, irregularity and pains with fertility need to be healed, not hidden. Ask your doctor about healing you and not just hide the symptoms.

Reason #2.  The thought of taking the reigns is very scary. Uh, yeah! It's very scary! Even though my mom told me the fundamentals, I didn't start taking the NFP (Natural Family Planning) classes until after the birth of my 2nd baby. I needed more then just "My mommy told me so.." classes. Mary Kate had special needs and I felt I had reason to avoid a pregnancy for a time. Actually, the thought of having another baby terrified me. We didn't want to practice the NFP method. We needed to already know it. These classes are taken during the engagement process but my lovely pregnancy got in the way. We managed to get through the first couple months with no pregnancy and had a confident feel for my body and its cycle. I was able to wipe the sweat off my brow. Whew! I imagine that a woman  feels that this NFP method is too good to be true. After all, I have 8 kids which discredits me, right? lol. Don't let me deceive you. I do NOT use NFP anymore. I have been open to life and have never had a serious reason not to be. Plus, my body is too good for me. I've been blessed with a perfect design in there.  My advise to all women is to really try to take control of your reproductive cycle. Call your local hospital and ask about NFP classes. It's not just for Catholics! Or, call a Catholic church and ask how you can take these classes. You will feel healthier and more empowered. YOU will be in control.  It will require you to get off all artificial birth control and avoid relations with your husband for a time but putting yourself in control of your own body will be worth it, I promise! You will be proud of yourself. If you or your husband can not avoid sex for the greater good then your love really needs to be put into question. Which brings me to another topic!....

Reason #3. Couple's don't want to abstain! I don't know why....I look forward to abstaining. LOL. TMI, sorry. Back to the subject. Couple's have to abstain for a million different reasons. One of you may be sick. If you can't abstain, your love has to be called into question. One of you may be out of town. If you can't abstain, your love and even marriage will be called into question. You may be in public. If you can't abstain?...You get the idea. Um, we're not animals. We can abstain during the fertile periods. Have you ever heard someone use the expression, "That's enough birth control for me!" when they witness a crowd of unruly children? Its a joke but really, it is the key to NFP.  When my husband and I wanted to avoid a baby, it was all TOO easy to abstain. You won't be having convulsions next to your spouse in a time of abstinence. As a matter of fact, coming back together will be as exciting as a honeymoon night. If that is not true for you, take a Theology of the Body class. The way you view your spouse will forever change...for the better;)

In conclusion. A woman's fertility is not a disease that needs pills or shots to neuter us so we can now be sexually available to have lifeless love with our spouse. Our fertility is beautifully designed by God to make us all active participants in our reproduction of God's little people. When the serpent came to Adam & Eve, what did he say to convince them to eat the forbidden fruit? He said, "You will be like God..." What are we doing when we take God out of the equation?  We have made ourselves our own god. We can not say that we want God to be part of every aspect of our lives....except here....except with our fertility. Our lack of trust and faith has brought us into this culture of death. I know it can be hard to have that trust in God and trust in His design in our flawed bodies. If it were easy, what would our faith really be worth?

(1) Kuhar, Bogomir. Infant Homicides through Contraceptives, Eternal Life, 2003.