I cannot count the number of times that I have
been warned about having a teenager. I
am sure you can relate. Not only am I warned all of the time but I remember
being a teenager myself and listening to my parents friends, family and
acquaintances give them the oh-no- a- teenager look and the better-get- off-the-road, she-has-her-license
comments. Why is this? Why do teenagers get such a bad rap?
As I was teaching Theology of the Body to the
teenagers, one main point that I stress is that they are at the age of training
themselves in faithfulness. I thought, why would they only be training
themselves in faithfulness? Why not train themselves in every virtue? Of
course, it was making sense now. The strong urges that teenagers have do not
have to be limited to sexual urges. Have you noticed your teenager may have an
urge to snap at you easier than they had, say, when they were 10? They have an
urge to cry faster and easier. Their
patience is wearing thin. They begin to have desires for material things that
they have turned into a need. Maybe some self-centeredness is trying to rear
its ugly head?
I had a talk with my 13 year old, Samantha, today.
I talked with her about what the teenage years would bring but they were not
full of doom and gloom. It was full of excitement and challenges that I wanted
to motivate her to conquer. The teenage years are not a phase that we have to
put up with and just get through. This is an exciting time in their lives! This
is the time that God knows your child is ready to be challenged and trained. We
don’t hand an 18 year old a tank in the time of war and say “good luck”. They
have a period of training and it is extremely exhilarating to finally be
allowed the responsibility with something so valuable and destructive and even lifesaving.
This is what teenagers are being given.
They are being entrusted with vices that can destroy other people
including themselves or they can be conquered with the virtues they have grown
up. It reminds me of vaccines that carry a mild dose of the ugly virus to build
up the immune system. This is the time
they transform themselves to outstanding, responsible, patient, generous and
exceptional human beings. What an exciting time! It is not so exciting if they
have never been taught these virtues growing up. Waiting until they are
teenagers to finally bring this up will make this experience much more painful
for them and you. If you have young ones, start now! Even a little baby can
learn to wait for their milk. A toddler can be taught generosity. A child can learn to choose the carrot over
the cookie. Ok, I failed with the carrot/cookie exampleL
You get the idea. Our family spent the year working on PACE virtues. We
worked, studied and practiced one virtue every month. I would put sayings up
all around the house for the kids to read while they walked down the hallway or
got into the refrigerator or spent time in the bathroom. By the way, if you want your child to memorize
ANYTHING, put the quote in front of the toilet. They will memorize it whether
they want to or not. This year was the perfect time to go through these virtues
and practice them. They were fresh in Samantha’s mind as we had our talk. It
was time to put these virtue’s to work. Will she fall into her vices or will
she conquer them with these virtues?! We are both excited to go through this
adventure! This is not doom & gloom!! We will not stand by and quietly (or
not so quietly) suffer. Bring it on!!
