For about 18 years, I have dreaming of this day; the day that my daughter and her daddy would go out on an elegant date for her 14th birthday. I kid you not, I have been shopping for purity rings and reading about “the talk” for that long. While I was relaxing after the birth of Mary Kate, over 18 years ago, I was reading “How to Teach Your Child About Sex” by Linda and Richard Eyre. The nurse was surprised that I was starting so early. I was still a new mom with my oldest only 12 months old. I wanted a head start. I needed a head start. The thought of teaching my kids about sex in a world that was already so sexualized was frightening. I wanted to do it right.
We give our kids the real talk about sex when they are eight years old. I know that sounds young but for several reasons, it made sense to us. You can read about our reasons in my blog about Theresa’s talk 2 years ago. For 6 years, Samantha has only heard about the beauty of sex. She has heard it repeatedly said that it foreshadows the union between her and God when she reaches her final destination with Him. She recognizes the parallels between the one flesh union with her spouse and the one flesh union she is already having with Christ in the Eucharist which coincidently occurs when she was 8 years old too. If she can understand this union with Christ at this age, she can certainly understand this union with marriage as well. It is very important for Roy and I to have the kids understand God’s gift the way He intended it to be understood and let it resonate for years before the ugliness rears its ugly head. By the time she learns about the dangers of pornography, the selfishness of masturbation and sodomy, the lustful eye and thoughts of the undisciplined mind, I wanted her to have clear view of the real beauty of sex before the Fall of Adam and Eve. Having a clear view of the goal will help her identify all of the counterfeits when the time comes.
She is 14 years old now and has been looking forward to this day for years. We have been building it up as if this was going to be the most important day of her life up until this point. She got all dressed up in a dress that we picked out on e-bay several months ago. I’m so glad it still fit! I made my arms sore with all of the hair curling but at least I got to sit down and not wear out my legs too. She dabbed some foundation on her already beautiful face and was ready to go. Roy took her to Capital Grille on the Plaza. I made sure that Roy would agree to hear about the specials so her eyes would glaze over in utter confusion. She must have the full experience! Her daddy put out every effort to treat her like the lady she is. He told her that she should be treated with nothing less than how her daddy would treat her.
Roy likes to talk. I warned her about that before she left but she loves him too much to care. I can totally see her elbow on the table, palm on her chin, head tilted and gazing in his eyes all night as he goes on and on.
The night was successful as I knew it would be.