The first few years of our marriage I asked my husband, Roy, if he would take the reigns as the spiritual head of our household. I'm old fashion and believe that husbands and fathers should be the head of the household. I asked him to have talks with the kids (mainly just the oldest at the time) about God and Faith. I asked if he would take the RCIA classes and join my Catholic Faith. His objections were simple and I think they reflect the objections a lot of men have. "I'm not qualified" and, "I'm not feeling it." I completely understand that, especially the "I'm not qualified" excuse. A few years back, our Cub Scout pack was in need of a good leader. Roy did not want to take on the position because he was "unqualified" but he did it anyway because he had the energy, discipline, attitude and drive. I remember sitting on the committee when a couple "seasoned" scouters were talking about the pancakes they were going to eat on a camp out. Roy interjected and offered to buy the pancake mix at the store. The 2 men snickered because all qualified scouters know that you make everything from scratch. My body started to heat up as I saw Roys head bow down in embarrassment. I was ready to jump onto the table and throw myself on those men who snickered. It was going to be just like what you see in the movies...the chairs go flying, some strangling, heads knocking together, people pulling me off... That would make a good story but I stayed put. Roys head rose up and he continued taking part in the conversation. My body temperature eventually went down and his scouting career has taken off. We will be attending a dinner where he will receive the District Award of Merit. It is well deserved.
When Roy began teaching Theology of the Body for Teens, he felt like he was the most unqualified person out there. Thanks to the desperation of having a 15 year old in dire need of this class with no one to teach it, he made the leap. On his first day of class, he was nervous, his eyes were tearing up, he was anxious and jumpy and just down right scared to death. It is true that he would be considered "unqualified" but he moved forward and learned right along side the kids. His assistant, the beautiful young Jackie Wild, was a cradle Catholic who has spent at least 20 years learning more and more about her Faith. I admire my husband for working side by side with someone a normal "unqualified" person would be intimidated by. Lucky for him, Jackie is a humble and forgiving assistant:)
I really wanted to write this blog because I know that some of you reading this might have a husband sitting at home while you and the kids go to church. Or you have a husband that is just waiting to have that loving feeling for God before he acts on it. Or he is waiting around to be "qualified". This is one of those situations where decisions are made in spite of what and how we are feeling. One thing I love about my Faith is that I can and want to be obedient whether I understand it or not because I trust my faith. My Catholic Faith is my foundation and I trust it more then I trust the foundation of my home that I entrust my life and my kids life to every day and night. The understanding will come later, either in this life or the next. For now, if I remain obedient, I will reap what I sow and it will be good. My darling husband is just like that. He tells himself that he's going to do the right thing whether he's feeling it or not. He can pray that God will gift him with the feelings to blast him forward with great zeal. If your husband is waiting for some magic wand to put these feelings in him before he acts, he will be waiting longer then it takes for his kids to grow up and out. We are given free will so we can freely love him. Love is an action and a choice. We need to be open and act. If he isn't "feeling it", encourage him to go someplace where he CAN feel it....adoration, Familia, a Bible Study, a training class for TOB, revivals during Lent, etc.
I have been blessed with a very humble man. This is not the opposite of pride. It is the fulfillment of it. He is what I call a "REAL" man. A man that protects, provides and cares for his family while falling to his knee's as a weak sinner in the presence of our Lord. He has inspired me to take the leap of faith too. Pardon my constant repitition of the TOB class for adults that I am facilitating but it is important to note that this is the first time that I've ever stuck my neck out so far. I too am nervous and unqualified. I am going for it anyway! Why? For two reasons #1 TOB is the next sexual revolution and #2 My husband has inspired me to do so.
Bottom line... a good, humble, loving and faithful husband of pride and values can empower the entire family. And I have it. I love you Roy. I am very blessed to have you.